How to Pursue Intimacy with Self, Others, and God
The smart device in your pocket can “connect” you instantly to almost any other human on the planet. But you…
Relationships
Learning from How Jesus Handled His Need for Intimacy
Jesus is so many things to us. He is our Savior, Redeemer, and King, our Elder Brother, and the Head…
Training, Not Trying: The Secret to Spiritual Growth
Trying harder just wears you out. And trying to become like Jesus can feel especially discouraging. But there’s a very…
Attention Is a Limited Resource. How Are You Doing With Yours?
*This is a guest blog post by my friend Zion Montgomery, licensed marriage and family therapist. She has a wealth…
Becoming Who Your Relationship Needs You to Be
What do you need to do in order to bring your best self to the people who matter most? What…
The Human Race Has an Intimacy Disorder
Perhaps it’s my training as a physician, but I often think in terms of diagnosis and treatment. If you don’t…
Learning Trauma Care from Jesus for Survivor or Helper
Some people who are deeply hurting have found the body of Christ to be a safe haven, a refuge from…
You Can’t Fix Right Brain Problems with Left Brain Tools
I continue to be fascinated with how modern neurobiology shines the light on what God has been working to do…
Safe Enough: The Kind of Relationship You Actually Need
Just yesterday I was talking with a young woman who said, “People aren’t safe.” There’s a real sense in which…
Lonely in a Connected World: The Intimacy Your Soul Is Missing
Today’s AI-saturated world has many, especially young people, trying to fill their longing for connection through digital means. Harvard Business…
The Battle for Your Brain: Technology and Spiritual Formation
Mental/emotional wellbeing and spiritual formation are not two separate things. Our sin problem is deeper than simply wrong acts that…
Digital Is Not Enough: Why Technology Can’t Transform Your Soul
I spend hours a day on screens. That’s both good and bad. Because of such technology I can write and…
When “One Flesh” Tears Apart: The Trauma of Broken Covenant
We don’t use the word covenant much today. But this deeply Biblical concept applies to our lives more than many…
What’s Shaping Your Soul Right Now? How God Transforms You
You are in a process of spiritual formation. The question is not whether you are being spiritually formed, but who…
Learning to Love Well in Challenging Relationships
People; love them, perhaps “hate” them. (OK, “hate” is much too strong a word.) Introvert or extrovert, you need people.…
Disentangling Messy Relationships: People, God, and Your Heart
People. Need them. Can’t stand them. Messy relationships seem to be the only kind available. The push-pull of your true…
After Betrayal: Forgiveness, Boundaries, Reconciliation, and Trust
People will let you down. It might be an inadvertent misunderstanding, or it might be an intentional and destructive betrayal.…
Do You Have the Same Effect on People that Jesus Did?
What’s it like to be on the other side of you? If you were your friend, husband, wife, child, employee,…
Why Sex and Intimacy are a Big Deal, and What to Do About It
God created you as a sexual being regardless of gender, age, or relationship status. But why? Some people are tempted…
From Rupture to Repair: Working Towards Healing in Your Relationship
Every relationship experiences ruptures. Husband/wife, parent/child, good friends – we are all sinners, and that means some rupture in relationships…
This Relationship Won’t Fix You
You are wired to need people. You can’t get away from that even if you try. But many may find…
What Does Sexual Wholeness Look Like?
What is Jesus inviting you into? Steve imagined a life of striving and trying harder, never feeling like he could…
4 Tensions to Manage so you can Experience Authentic Intimacy
I can’t be vulnerable; people will walk all over me. … People don’t like my honest self, so I have…
What If Everything You Learned About Relationships Was Wrong?
If you’ve ever had an original thought, you’re one of very few humans who have. We are great mimics, learning…
Lies That Kill Intimacy: Common Myths About Sex and Relationships
You learned things about intimacy, sex, and relationships long before you knew you were learning anything. What you saw modeled…
Five Reasons Why Intimacy Is Hard: What No One Tells You
One might think that something as vital to our wellbeing as intimacy is wouldn’t be so hard. But it is.…
Imagine the End: Relate Better Today, Regret Less Tomorrow
It’s a principle Jim Collins talked about years ago; begin with the end in mind. It changes what you do…
How to Find a Friend: Who is Your Peter, James, and John?
Everything’s fine? Great! I’d love to meet you! But for the rest of us, the whole world doesn’t need to…
How to Write Your Story with God as Your Co-Author
You have a story. Perhaps you’ve made partial peace with some of the previous chapters of your story. But what…
Don’t Confuse Sex and Intimacy: How They’re Related – and Different
We use euphemisms all the time, especially around sex. I’ll spare you a list. But did you know the Bible…
Sex and Intimacy When You’re Single – And Christian
If you’re a Christian and you’ve been in church, you’ve probably heard the message “sex is for marriage.” But you’re…
Your Spouse is NOT the Key to a Better Sex Life
Many married people I talk with say something like, “If my spouse would just say Yes to sex, I wouldn’t…
Overcome Your Complex Relationship with Sex, Intimacy, and God
Believe it or not, sex and all that comes with it affects you deeply. Your relationship with sex is complicated.…
The Priceless Christmas Gift – That Doesn’t Cost a Penny
There was a time years ago when I dreaded Christmas, primarily because I felt alone. My extended family felt –…
How to Find “Your People” When You Need Help
Isolation is dangerous. But connecting is often hard. In my work with people this is almost always the most challenging…
What Messy Families Tell Us About the Kingdom of God
Family is messy! You don’t get to choose your parents, your siblings, or your extended family. Any parent will tell…
The Path to Making Your Heart Ready for Intimacy and Connection
You feel empty. Maybe you’re married, there’s little intimacy between you, and you blame your spouse. Or perhaps you want…
Stop People-Pleasing: Embracing Authenticity in Relationships and Parenting
Perhaps you’ve recognized that you need to stop people-pleasing. Other people are good at taking up all the mental real…
5 Things I Wish the Church Knew About Single Christians
Many single Christians find the single life really difficult. And I’ve experienced that myself during the many years I lived…
Human Relationships: What People Can and Can’t Do For You
Loneliness is an epidemic. And it’s dangerous to your physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing. God Himself said that aloneness was…
How Your Sexual Story Affects Your Mental Health
We live in an epidemic of mental/emotional health issues. There are many factors involved, and it’s impossible to completely differentiate…
Why Selfishness Doesn’t Work, and What to Do Instead
Being unselfish is in many ways quite “selfish”. That is, unless your goal is to live isolated and miserable for…
What’s the State of Your Heart?
Think of someone you love to be around. How would you describe their heart? Chances are their inner being is…
The Difference Between Lust and Healthy Desire
When the enemy can’t get you to fall into the ditch on one side, he’ll work hard to hurdle you…
What’s Required for Healthy Sexual Discipleship?
A spouse feeling hurt and lonely because their partner seems uninterested in sexual intimacy. A young (or not-so-young) person heavy…
Healthy Ways to Choose Intimacy: It Could be Dangerous
People are messy, and therefore relationships are messy. The closer you get to people the messier it gets. Your heart…
5 Reasons Good Sex is Important for Your Marriage
Many couples fight about sex. Or if you don’t fight about it, it’s a frequent source of tension. One wants…
Your Journey to Sexual Wholeness Will Be Opposed
I hear from people every day who are facing opposition on the journey to sexual wholeness. If all it took…
Sex, Love, and Intimacy; How do They Connect?
Sex, love, and intimacy are (or should be) related in some ways, but they’re not the same. Too often people…
Married Sex: Can it be Good?
Maurice and Monica weren’t sure their marriage would make it. They had lived together for a few years prior to…
