You are in a process of spiritual formation. The question is not whether you are being spiritually formed, but who or what is shaping your soul. Most people think little about this, but it’s perhaps the most important thing about you. The good news is you don’t have to do this alone; God is intimately involved is using all kinds of things to transform you from who you have been into who He created you to be.

As we look at some of the tools God uses, it’s important to remember that this all takes time. Usually a lot of time. There are moments God does something suddenly, and we welcome that! But most of the time it’s a process of transformation – often so slow that you don’t see it unless you look back months, years, or even longer.

It takes this long not because God is limited in what He can do, but because the transformation process we need is so deep and all-encompassing. It’s a big job for your brain pathways, your natural ways of responding and relating, your default heart ways of being in the world, to then become all about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

So how does God go about shaping your soul, making you into that kind of person?

Trouble, Trauma, and Disappointment

We don’t like trouble, trauma, and disappointment. Some Christians seem to think that if God were being God, they wouldn’t have the kind of trouble they are experiencing. But that’s not a Biblical perspective, nor does it line up with the witness of followers of Jesus over the past 2000+ years.

God never enjoys our suffering; that’s a Biblical truth. But He can and does miraculously use it to build a substance in us that we could not experience any other way. One example; this month marks ten years since my husband Al’s death. Grief is excruciating! I am not grateful that he died. But I have become deeply grateful for what the journey of grief has done in me. There’s a depth, resilience, perspective, and empathy in me that would not have come any other way. I could not be who I am now without the journey of grief.

There’s so much to be said about this topic; there’s only space here to comment on the truly beautiful way God uses suffering to transform us. For whatever is troubling, hard, damaging, disappointing in your life, hold it up to Jesus. That does not mean minimizing your distress. But make it available for Him, and He will use in making you into who He knows you can become.

Other People

God created us humans as hopelessly needy. And that includes needing other people. Perhaps you, like me, aren’t especially fond of this aspect of our humanness, but it’s real. And even Jesus truly needed others when He was here on earth.

Some ways God uses people in your transformation process are downright uncomfortable. Getting closer to other people can more easily show up the prickly or undesirable parts of yourself. You may well be “forced” to deal with your selfishness, immaturity, pride, hiding, or laziness. Sometimes other people will tell you how you come across, but just noticing the impact you have on others can be both sobering and motivating.

God also uses people in your life to be empowering and encouraging. We need different kinds of people; those you look up to, those coming alongside you, and those you are investing in. I often hear someone say, “I don’t have any real friends.” Then do the hard work to find one! This is one of the most important places for you to invest your energy in cooperating with God in your transformation process.

Examples and Inspiration

If trouble, trauma, and disappointment can pull you backwards, and God designed other people to be supports alongside you, then examples and inspiration pull you forward. It’s easy to stay stuck when you don’t know there are any other options. Hearing and seeing how others have overcome obstacles, gained deep and uplifting perspectives on truth, or followed Jesus well can stir a desire in you to pull for something more.

This is one of the reasons Scripture is so powerful. We see men and women with real issues, how God dealt with them, and who they became as a result. We see the power of human choice, and also how God was/is always both in the middle of and above it all.

It’s similar with heroes in our lives now. Who are the people filling your awareness? Sometimes those are people around you in real life; sometimes it’s people you learn from or follow from afar through books, media, etc. Are your heroes worthy of your emulation? Would you be a better person if you were more like them? Human beings should never take the place in our hearts that only God can and must fill, but it matters who you are following.

This also applies to the media you allow into your mind. I do not believe this means you only read/watch/listen to explicitly “Christian” material. But feed your mind primarily junk food and your soul will be weak.

Something to ponder; where are you looking for examples and inspiration for living?

His Own Presence

Most of all, we are transformed through the presence of Jesus. When Peter and John were hauled before the Sanhedrin for healing a man in the name of Jesus, Acts records “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13). They didn’t become who they were primarily through studying the Torah or listening to Jesus tell them what to do, but by being with Him.

That’s how you are transformed also. If you hang around Jesus, you’ll become like Him just as Peter and John did. This is not about a list of religious activities you’re “supposed” to do; this is about putting yourself in places where Jesus shows up, and choosing to point your attention and soul to connecting your heart with Him.

Church can be one of those places. Church will never be perfect – because messy people are what make up the church! But make sure your church involvement is not about a checklist, but about ways of being with others that pull you toward becoming more like Jesus. And this is also about much more than an hour on Sunday; it’s about the people you are doing life with.

And perhaps most important of all is your investment of being with Jesus alone, just you and Him. Whether you have five minutes or an hour, this is about a meaningful engagement of your heart with His heart. It might be easy to say, “I’m too busy.” But you have agency here. You get to choose what to say Yes to and what to say No to. If you’re watching an hour of TV in the evening, or spending even 30 minutes on social media, you have time to spend with Jesus!

Who Are You Becoming?

What’s the trajectory of your life? What’s the aroma around you? Who or what is shaping your soul? Are you becoming more like “the world,” or more like Jesus? That will depend on the influences you allow into your life, and how much you allow God to do His work in you.

Your Turn: What do you see God working on in your life right now? What if you change the way you look at “stuff” and ask, “how might God be using this to transform me?”  Leave a comment below.

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• God is in the process of making you and me more like Jesus. But He doesn’t just “zap” you. Here are some of the tools God uses in shaping your soul, in your transformation process. Tweet that.

What more? This week’s podcast is with Leslie Parrot about learning to love well in marriage and other relationships. Listen or watch.

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