Learning Emotional Regulation with Jesus
How do you feel about your feelings? Some people see emotions as dangerous, so they exert great quantities of internal…
healthy
What If Feeling Bad Isn’t Always a Bad Thing?
Who wants to feel bad? I certainly don’t. There’s a whole list of feelings we usually consider “bad”: anxiety, anger,…
Training, Not Trying: The Secret to Spiritual Growth
Trying harder just wears you out. And trying to become like Jesus can feel especially discouraging. But there’s a very…
When Your Relationship Isn’t Working
There’s little if anything that makes a greater difference in your sense of wellbeing than the quality of your closest…
The Human Race Has an Intimacy Disorder
Perhaps it’s my training as a physician, but I often think in terms of diagnosis and treatment. If you don’t…
Digital Is Not Enough: Why Technology Can’t Transform Your Soul
I spend hours a day on screens. That’s both good and bad. Because of such technology I can write and…
Learning to Love Well in Challenging Relationships
People; love them, perhaps “hate” them. (OK, “hate” is much too strong a word.) Introvert or extrovert, you need people.…
Disentangling Messy Relationships: People, God, and Your Heart
People. Need them. Can’t stand them. Messy relationships seem to be the only kind available. The push-pull of your true…
Disappointed in an Empty Life: Is This All There Is?
Ever feel disappointed with your life, wondering Is this all there is? Get up and go to church. Serve on…
5 Ways You May Be Afraid to Change and What to Do About It
A husband I’ll call George feels paralyzed. He knows things aren’t well in his soul or in his marriage, but…
Your Body: Friend or Foe?
Your body can be a touchy subject (no pun intended). Is your body a friend or foe? Many if not…
The Lies, Wounds, and Empty Places that Messed You Up
The human heart is not a pretty place. At least not after living in this world for any length of…
The Priceless Christmas Gift – That Doesn’t Cost a Penny
There was a time years ago when I dreaded Christmas, primarily because I felt alone. My extended family felt –…
The Power of Gratitude: Three Unique Blessings I’m Thankful For in 2024
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Research continues to demonstrate how gratitude is good for you; it improves…
What Messy Families Tell Us About the Kingdom of God
Family is messy! You don’t get to choose your parents, your siblings, or your extended family. Any parent will tell…
Human Relationships: What People Can and Can’t Do For You
Loneliness is an epidemic. And it’s dangerous to your physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing. God Himself said that aloneness was…
Friend or Foe: Embracing the Divine Design in Your Body’s Messages
Talk to a Christian about our physical body and you’re likely to get confused. You might hear, “You must take…
Why Selfishness Doesn’t Work, and What to Do Instead
Being unselfish is in many ways quite “selfish”. That is, unless your goal is to live isolated and miserable for…
Three Steps to Becoming Whole After Being Sexually Harmed
Nobody wakes up one day and says, “Today I want to mess up.” You have a story. You came to…
The Practice of Being Grateful For in a Difficult Season in 2023
The fourth Thursday of November is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. And that’s today! As good-for-the-soul as food, family,…
Five Key Elements in the Process of Becoming Sexually Whole
Many of the people I talk with wish God would just “zap” them from their current state of misery and…
When God-Talk has Brought Pain to Your Sexuality
Love it or hate it, sex is a big deal. God cares about your sexuality, and the Bible has a…
How’s Your Soul Doing, Really?
At breakfast with a friend recently I asked her, “How’s your soul doing?” That led to conversation about some really…
Tearing Down Inner Walls so you can Experience Intimacy
The idea of intimacy sounds nice, even important. But most people don’t think of it as absolutely necessary for life.…
Why It’s Not Really a Sex Problem
Behaviors matter. Behaviors have consequences. And sexual behaviors especially have consequences. But for those who are struggling here, putting your…
Three Things to Do With Your Messy Sexual Story
Every single day, no exceptions, I hear from people struggling. Men and women, married and unmarried, young and old, from…
Unpacking What You Learned About Relationships and Intimacy
Your brain is a sponge, not a source. You may believe you’ve come up with an original thought, but that’s…
When Nothing You’re Doing Makes You Satisfied
I would add something to one of the lists in Proverbs: “Three things are never satisfied; four never say, “Enough”:…
Different Year, Different Gratitude List
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Research continues to demonstrate that gratitude is good for you; it improves…
Three Keys to Dropping the Insanity in Your Marriage
Doing the same thing and expecting a different result; isn’t that the definition of insanity? You’re not a failure if…
Fully Alive Marriage: It’s Not What You Think
If you’re single, perhaps you imagine a Fully Alive marriage as one where your spouse anticipates your needs and fulfills…
How the Old “You” Will Have to Die for Your Marriage to Survive
OH! That’s not what the preacher said when he or she pronounced you man and wife. Dying is not what…
Want Your Marriage to Last? Let Your Relationship Breathe
The healthiest marriages are not the ones where husband and wife spend the most time together. Does that surprise you?…
Where to Invest in Your Marriage for Long-Term Success
Nothing of real value just happens. You don’t drift toward a finely tuned athletic body, a million-dollar retirement fund, or…
The Rhythms of Communication that Keep Marriage Alive
You know communication is necessary for a healthy relationship. But like any other good thing, it doesn’t happen if you…
Stressed or Anxious About Your Marriage?
“Well, YES!” That’s kind of a given, right? Marriage hooks you to another sinner physically, emotionally, financially, even spiritually. Your…
NEW: Only Read if You’re Feeling Stressed or Anxious
You can ignore the rest of this message if: Your body, mind, and soul feel calm, connected, and Fully Alive…
What to Do If “God” has Become a Bad Word for You
When you think of “God,” what is your internal experience? Are you afraid, wishing you could hide behind some fig…
Five Enemies of Your Marriage (Your Spouse is Not One of Them)
It’s no surprise that marriage is under assault. Younger marriages end when one or both feel unhappy or unfulfilled. Longer-term…
Seven Things I Do Every Day: Navigating My Midlife Lifestyle
For all you women out there trying to navigate your menopause and midlife season, I see you. I get you.…
You Don’t Need This if You’re Comfortable with Change
You can ignore the rest of this post if: Changes internally or externally don’t bother or disturb you at all…
Five Ways Helping Others Helps You
Aren’t you grateful for what Jesus has done in you? You may have a lot more to grow to get…
How to Build Safety in Your Marriage
You want intimacy. That’s why you got married! But intimacy doesn’t just happen; there are several necessary ingredients that must…
10 Resolutions that will Revolutionize Your Relationship in 2021
The only helpful thing about New Year’s resolutions is that they get you to focus on what you can do.…
How to Access God’s Plan for you to Become Whole and Stay Whole
You get really sick. What do you need to become whole and stay whole? You may need to visit the…
How to Fight the Sense of Powerlessness in Your Marriage
There’s little that impacts your wellbeing more than the quality of your closest personal relationships. Your marriage in particular, as…
Why Not Every Marriage Can be Saved
Yes, God does miracles! He can and does transform the most destructive and hurtful marriages into shining demonstrations of His…
Do This, Not That: 5 Attitudes for a Better Marriage
Attitudes color everything. Attitudes develop usually without you realizing it. Some attitudes you brought to your marriage and some you…
A Doctor’s View on Health During the COVID-19 Pandemic
Cable news, your email inbox, the county health department, social media, and even the loud-speaker at your grocery store are…
How I Decided to Marry a Divorced Man
Remarriage after divorce is one of those topics that can make otherwise “good” Christians become prickly, self-righteous, or downright vindictive.…
