I spend hours a day on screens. That’s both good and bad. Because of such technology I can write and distribute these articles read by thousands of people, research and recording podcasts reaching thousands more, and connect with people around the world. I specifically use AI at least several times a week, if not daily. But technology has limitations. Digital is not enough.

There’s a much higher level of connection and transformation that happens when you’re in the same physical space with others. The ladies that come to my house monthly for Ladies Nite Out, the groups of people that come together for our Intensives, giving and receiving a hug from a real-life friend – that does something more than screens ever could.

And that’s especially true when thinking about our formation as followers of Jesus. If you’ve followed my work for any time at all you’ll know that I say often, stuffing more information into your logical left brain is woefully ineffective and inefficient in leading to heart change, in bringing lasting transformation into the likeness of Jesus.

So what can digital do for you, and what can’t it do? When digital is not enough, what next?

Digital is Valuable

“Google” has become a verb; “just google it.” And who knows what the AI verb will be; “Claude it?” “ChatGPT it?” Like the Roman roads in Paul’s day or the Guttenberg printing press centuries later, there are truly good things technology has done and will continue to do for the kingdom of God.

Think of the 1 billion+ downloads of the YouVersion Bible app. Or the AI-facilitated rapid speed of current Bible translation into the “heart language” of the people groups who still lack it. Or the ability of such technology to assist in medical care for those in remote areas.

Today anyone can watch or listen to the best communicators of the gospel anywhere in the world – for free on your smartphone. You can access the thinking and writing of the “best” followers of Jesus over the past 2000+ years. You can quickly know the impact your financial gift is making to people nearby or on the other side of the world.

And as thoroughly grateful as we all are for such things, there’s also an ache in our souls that the digital world can never fulfill.

Why Digital Is Never Enough

The “dark side” of digital is real; pornography, deep fakes, cyberbullying, addiction, and more. The algorithms do not have your best interest at heart! But totally aside from those deeply scary realities, there’s something fundamental about us as humans, about how God created you and me, that will always remain outside the realm of technology.

And that fundamental feature I would label as intimacy.

God cannot be reduced to 1s and 0s. And even more important, God is relational within Himself; Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It’s His very nature. And in creating us in His image, He made us with the need, desire, and capacity for relationship, for intimacy; to be seen, known, and loved, and to offer the same in return.

Hence the rub. There’s something an AI chat agent or a sex robot will never be able to satisfy; the longing for love. It may superficially “feel” like that itch is being scratched; it’s likely to seem easier, less disruptive, and essentially guaranteed. But it ends up being like junk food; it may taste good for a moment, but it only kills you more painfully and more slowly.

So here are a few specific things digital can never do for you:

• Grieve and heal your losses and wounds
• Satisfy the existential longings within your soul for shalom, for goodness
• Nourish your need for deep human connection that God built within you
• Grow in you the fruit of the Spirit to become like Jesus (Gal. 5:22-23)

That said, what do we do about it? There’s been a lot of chatter both in popular culture and in the church about the impact of our increasingly digital world on who we are as humans. Let me suggest two questions to wrestle with for yourself in this regard.

Two Questions to Clarify Your Digital Discipleship

Yes, you are being discipled. And if you spend any time at all on screens, you are being digitally discipled. The question is not if, but how that’s forming you. A first question to ponder is;

How has your digital life formed you?

The content you consume is just one part of this, but it is important. You cannot help but become more like that to which you give your attention. What if you became more like the celebrities you follow, the videos you watch, the social media you scroll, the music you listen to? Would that be a good thing?

But even more is the impact of using the technology on your brain processes. How do you react if your phone gets “lost?” What’s your go-to coping strategy when something challenging presents itself? Are you able to schedule and hold to a “digital sabbath?” When digital frustrations come, is it the fruit of the Spirit that leaks out of you?

And a second question;

Are you investing as much in real-life relationships as you are in your digital world?

It’s important to steward, to “parent,” your phone or other digital tools. For example, I turn off all screens at a certain time in the evening. What hard boundaries might you need to put in place around your devices and use of technology?

But even more, you won’t successfully break old behavior or thought patterns or get over an addiction simply by working harder to not do something. Negative reinforcement can help, but that’s only the first step. What will you put in its place? How will you address the emotional discomfort, the boredom, the loneliness that gives the algorithms their biggest hooks in your brain?

The only real antidote is deep personal relationships. I know; I’ve heard all the excuses. People are messy. It’s hard to do the work of relationship! (That applies both to marriage and to all the other relationships we have.)

So, if you want to become what the algorithms want you to become, I’m afraid I can’t help you. But I’d like to invite you to resist. Be the alterative – for at least one person near you. Take the risk and reach out to at least one person this week.

If Jesus, the Son of God, truly needed close human relationships, you and I won’t become whole any other way.

I’m not for scrapping digital. I’ll use AI again the next time I need to do research for preparing a presentation. I’ll post challenging or encouraging clips on social media. But I will devote my best energy and the deepest places of my heart to connecting with another human being, and with the God who made me – and you.

Won’t you do the same?

Your Turn: How do you feel about the impact of the digital world on you? Have you looked to digital tools to do things they can’t do? What will you do this week to nurture real relationship first?  Leave a comment below.

Want more? This week’s podcast is the next in our series AI and the Soul; a conversation with pastor and author Jay Kim, about having an embodied faith. Listen or watch.

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• Our digital and increasingly AI-saturated world does have positive things to offer, but it’s woefully unhelpful in meeting the deepest needs of your soul and mine. Here’s an alternative. Tweet that.

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