Learning from How Jesus Handled His Need for Intimacy
Jesus is so many things to us. He is our Savior, Redeemer, and King, our Elder Brother, and the Head…
relationships
Training, Not Trying: The Secret to Spiritual Growth
Trying harder just wears you out. And trying to become like Jesus can feel especially discouraging. But there’s a very…
What If Your Relationship with God Was Actually a Relationship?
Think of the person you are closest to. That might be a really good friend, your spouse, perhaps a brother…
Attention Is a Limited Resource. How Are You Doing With Yours?
*This is a guest blog post by my friend Zion Montgomery, licensed marriage and family therapist. She has a wealth…
Becoming Who Your Relationship Needs You to Be
What do you need to do in order to bring your best self to the people who matter most? What…
When Your Relationship Isn’t Working
There’s little if anything that makes a greater difference in your sense of wellbeing than the quality of your closest…
Learning Trauma Care from Jesus for Survivor or Helper
Some people who are deeply hurting have found the body of Christ to be a safe haven, a refuge from…
You Can’t Fix Right Brain Problems with Left Brain Tools
I continue to be fascinated with how modern neurobiology shines the light on what God has been working to do…
Safe Enough: The Kind of Relationship You Actually Need
Just yesterday I was talking with a young woman who said, “People aren’t safe.” There’s a real sense in which…
Lonely in a Connected World: The Intimacy Your Soul Is Missing
Today’s AI-saturated world has many, especially young people, trying to fill their longing for connection through digital means. Harvard Business…
Digital Is Not Enough: Why Technology Can’t Transform Your Soul
I spend hours a day on screens. That’s both good and bad. Because of such technology I can write and…
When “One Flesh” Tears Apart: The Trauma of Broken Covenant
We don’t use the word covenant much today. But this deeply Biblical concept applies to our lives more than many…
Learning to Love Well in Challenging Relationships
People; love them, perhaps “hate” them. (OK, “hate” is much too strong a word.) Introvert or extrovert, you need people.…
Disentangling Messy Relationships: People, God, and Your Heart
People. Need them. Can’t stand them. Messy relationships seem to be the only kind available. The push-pull of your true…
After Betrayal: Forgiveness, Boundaries, Reconciliation, and Trust
People will let you down. It might be an inadvertent misunderstanding, or it might be an intentional and destructive betrayal.…
Let the Light In: Choosing Beauty and Goodness in a Dark World
You can’t get rid of darkness by raging against it; you must turn on the light. A bucket of dirty…
Do You Have the Same Effect on People that Jesus Did?
What’s it like to be on the other side of you? If you were your friend, husband, wife, child, employee,…
Why Sex and Intimacy are a Big Deal, and What to Do About It
God created you as a sexual being regardless of gender, age, or relationship status. But why? Some people are tempted…
From Rupture to Repair: Working Towards Healing in Your Relationship
Every relationship experiences ruptures. Husband/wife, parent/child, good friends – we are all sinners, and that means some rupture in relationships…
When Love Feels Broken: God’s Healing for Your Marriage
Every marriage has troubles. Every single one! And yet when your relationship struggles it’s easy to wonder if healing for…
Your Fragrance: How Your Inner Life Affects Others
You are not an island. You have an impact on other people whether you realize it or not, and whether…
This Relationship Won’t Fix You
You are wired to need people. You can’t get away from that even if you try. But many may find…
What Does Sexual Wholeness Look Like?
What is Jesus inviting you into? Steve imagined a life of striving and trying harder, never feeling like he could…
What Does Intimacy for Singles Look Like?
You’re not married. And you’re in good company. Unmarried adults now outnumber married adults in the US and in many…
4 Tensions to Manage so you can Experience Authentic Intimacy
I can’t be vulnerable; people will walk all over me. … People don’t like my honest self, so I have…
What If Everything You Learned About Relationships Was Wrong?
If you’ve ever had an original thought, you’re one of very few humans who have. We are great mimics, learning…
Five Reasons Why Intimacy Is Hard: What No One Tells You
One might think that something as vital to our wellbeing as intimacy is wouldn’t be so hard. But it is.…
Imagine the End: Relate Better Today, Regret Less Tomorrow
It’s a principle Jim Collins talked about years ago; begin with the end in mind. It changes what you do…
How to Find a Friend: Who is Your Peter, James, and John?
Everything’s fine? Great! I’d love to meet you! But for the rest of us, the whole world doesn’t need to…
Your Story Holds the Key: Find Deeper Intimacy with Yourself, Others, and God
Oh, how good we are at hiding! Humans have been practicing hiding ever since the Garden of Eden, and we’ve…
Don’t Confuse Sex and Intimacy: How They’re Related – and Different
We use euphemisms all the time, especially around sex. I’ll spare you a list. But did you know the Bible…
Sex and Intimacy When You’re Single – And Christian
If you’re a Christian and you’ve been in church, you’ve probably heard the message “sex is for marriage.” But you’re…
Your Spouse is NOT the Key to a Better Sex Life
Many married people I talk with say something like, “If my spouse would just say Yes to sex, I wouldn’t…
The Priceless Christmas Gift – That Doesn’t Cost a Penny
There was a time years ago when I dreaded Christmas, primarily because I felt alone. My extended family felt –…
How to Find “Your People” When You Need Help
Isolation is dangerous. But connecting is often hard. In my work with people this is almost always the most challenging…
Answering Your Questions About Sex, Love, and Relationships
Today is different. I’m not sharing an article; I’m sharing some answers to questions you’ve sent in about sex, love,…
What Messy Families Tell Us About the Kingdom of God
Family is messy! You don’t get to choose your parents, your siblings, or your extended family. Any parent will tell…
Stop People-Pleasing: Embracing Authenticity in Relationships and Parenting
Perhaps you’ve recognized that you need to stop people-pleasing. Other people are good at taking up all the mental real…
5 Things I Wish the Church Knew About Single Christians
Many single Christians find the single life really difficult. And I’ve experienced that myself during the many years I lived…
How People Change: Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be
I’m so glad I’m not like I used to be! I was a seriously messed up young woman. But I’m…
Healing After Betrayal: How to Rebuild Your Life and Move Forward
My friend had been betrayed. “It was a sucker punch in my gut.” I’m not sure there’s anything humans can…
How Your Sexual Story Affects Your Mental Health
We live in an epidemic of mental/emotional health issues. There are many factors involved, and it’s impossible to completely differentiate…
Why Selfishness Doesn’t Work, and What to Do Instead
Being unselfish is in many ways quite “selfish”. That is, unless your goal is to live isolated and miserable for…
The Difference Between Lust and Healthy Desire
When the enemy can’t get you to fall into the ditch on one side, he’ll work hard to hurdle you…
5 Reasons Good Sex is Important for Your Marriage
Many couples fight about sex. Or if you don’t fight about it, it’s a frequent source of tension. One wants…
Sex, Love, and Intimacy; How do They Connect?
Sex, love, and intimacy are (or should be) related in some ways, but they’re not the same. Too often people…
Married Sex: Can it be Good?
Maurice and Monica weren’t sure their marriage would make it. They had lived together for a few years prior to…
Do You Need Better Personal Relationships?
In observing and working with people for decades now, I’ve seen how the biggest determinant of a person’s sense of…
A Christmas Prayer for your Marriage
Choosing a gift for your spouse at Christmas may seem difficult, especially when the world – and your life –…
When You and Your Spouse are on Opposite Sides in the Bedroom
You may have expected sex to just “work” when you got married. Or that married sex would fix your porn…
