Some people who are deeply hurting have found the body of Christ to be a safe haven, a refuge from chaos, a place of deep healing. And others have experienced the church as a rigid, alienating, or further-traumatizing place they only want to escape from. Without either stereotyping or excusing, let’s look at Jesus as an example for both survivors and helpers when it comes to trauma care.

People everywhere are hurting, including those who may seem the most put together. Real life brings real pain; serious illness, estrangement or dysfunction in families, abuse and violence (physical, emotional, sexual), betrayal, divorce, grief, loss. And almost always there’s accompanying shame – worrying how others will see you, and feeling horrible about who you are or what you may have done.

Intellectually we assert that Jesus welcomed those who were broken. Let’s unpack what that looked like for Him, and what that would look like today.

A Trauma-Informed Look at Jesus

Jesus came into a world rocked by trauma. He was born to impoverished parents who were forced to become refugees when His life was in danger. He was misunderstood His entire earthly life. Even those who were closest to Him only partly “got” who He was and what His mission was. After beginning His ministry He had no permanent home. He was called a bastard and accused of being demon-possessed.

How’s that for experiencing trauma in family of origin and in ministry?

In His final passion Jesus experienced a level of trauma none of us will ever fully experience. The physical torture of crucifixion was bad enough; the flogging, the humiliation of hanging naked on a cross, His body disfigured so badly He would have been hard to recognize (see Isaiah 52:14).

Other men have experienced that degree of physical trauma. But add to that the emotional and spiritual trauma of literally having the sin of the world on His shoulders and being personally assaulted by Satan and the entire kingdom of darkness.

Yes, our Lord knows trauma.

Trauma in Jesus’ Ministry

Jesus was also well acquainted with trauma in those He ministered to. How He did so provides wonderful solace and healing to those of us who have experienced trauma ourselves, and a powerful example to those who are seeking to help others who have been through or are experiencing trauma.

Just a few examples from the gospels:

• Ten lepers, banding together trying to survive, and especially the foreigner (the Samaritan), living with horrible damage to their bodies and exclusion from society. (Luke 17:11-19)
• The widow whose only son had died, left with no means of support. (Luke 7:11-17)
• The father with his epileptic son, desperate for any help. (Mark 9:14-27)
• The woman married five times, likely from a combination of abuse, divorce, and death. (John 4:4-30)
• The woman about to be stoned after being caught in adultery. (John 8:2-11)

And we could name many others.

Jesus first offered each of these men and women the gift of being seen. He never blamed them for their suffering even when their own “choices” might have been the “cause.” He offered them individual attention, was curious about their situation, and addressed their deepest pain. Only then did He invite them into a different kind of life.

To Trauma Survivors

Whether your trauma is physical, mental, relational, or spiritual, know first that Jesus sees you. His message to you would NOT be anything like, “You pitiful thing; get your act together!” Instead, it would be:

• “I see you.” You are a person to Jesus, not a number or a clinical case. You are worthy of His time and attention. He truly gets you – all of you. He sees everything that brought you to the place you are now, including the harm or neglect or whatever else happened to you.
• “I’m here to help.” Jesus is the safe place you may never have known elsewhere. While many wish He would just “zap” the pain away, His usual way of helping is through a process. Jesus is always for you, unconditionally, for as long as it takes.
• “Come closer.” Jesus’ very goodness is inviting. Being with Him makes the next step possible. Jesus almost always invited the person He was helping to do something; what that is will be unique to you, but it’s His presence that makes it possible.

You don’t have to pretend to be OK when you’re not. The Psalms are a great example of being real with God – even when it’s ugly. Jesus never asked someone to clean themselves up before He would help them.

Just come!

To Helpers

For the many in the body of Christ who want to help those who are hurting, bless you! That desire in your heart is an expression of Christ’s love burning in your soul.

In line with Jesus’ example, here’s how to position yourself when connecting with someone who has or is experiencing trauma.

• “I see you.” It’s noticing someone’s pained or anxious demeanor, the tears just under the surface, a sense from the Spirit that something’s not OK. Slow down, look in their eyes, and offer something like, “It seems you must be wrestling with something really hard.” If you know what it is, say “I’m trying to imagine how hard that must be for you.”
• “I’m here to help.” You are not Junior Holy Spirit. But remember that listening is helping. No spiritual bypass. No minimizing. No quick fix. First, that person needs to sense in their nervous system that you are for them. Whether it’s a caring hug or a longer conversation, be for them.
• “Come closer.” True transformation only comes through connection. You might be one of those connections God has for this person through which they can find the healing and freedom they need. Your encouragement and presence can be a powerful support as they take whatever next steps are appropriate.

Jesus needs you to be His hands and feel. There is no higher privilege. That will look very different for different helpers, but everyone can do this!

Who is Jesus calling you to be with today?

Traumatized, Helper, or Both, Jesus Gets You.

Your turn: There may not be anyone who has not experienced some measure of trauma. What’s that been like for you? Where are you in the healing journey now? What do you need next? And how is Jesus calling you to help someone else?   Leave a comment below.

Want more? On this week’s podcast I talk with Beth Broom, founder of the Christian Trauma Healing Network, about the church and trauma. Listen or watch.

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