Right doctrine matters. Biblical literacy is important. The evangelical church has focused on that for a long time. However, while acknowledging the many very good things that has brought to Christians and to society, there’s something often missing. Knowing the “right” things doesn’t automatically lead to doing the right things, or to becoming like Jesus.

If you’ve been following me for any time at all, you know we focus frequently on areas around intimacy, sexuality, and relationships. Knowing that God created sex as a good and bonding experience between husband and wife doesn’t necessarily lead to a healthy married sex life. Knowing porn is wrong doesn’t by itself stop you from picking up your phone when you’re frustrated, lonely, bored, or sad. Hearing that the New Testament pictures sex as exclusively to be enjoyed within covenant marriage doesn’t stop you from moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend when the feelings seem so strong.

And right behaviors don’t automatically grow the fruit of the Spirit and lead you to become like Jesus. This week a friend told me of meeting a couple at a Christian gathering who were proud of being married nearly fifty years. But the wife displayed such bitterness and misery that no one meeting them would have thought marriage was a good idea. And there are countless other examples.

So what’s missing? What do we as followers of Jesus need beyond right doctrine or even right behavior?

Jesus’ Program of Discipleship

It’s been said that there was an old Jewish blessing; “May you be covered in the dust of your rabbi.” The idea was to be so close to your teacher that as their sandals stirred up dust, it would get all over you.

Discipleship for Jesus was about gathering a small group of followers to “be with him” (Mark 3:14). They would not simply learn his teachings; they would absorb everything about who he was and become like him. Their “muscle memory,” their almost unconscious reactions in every situation, would be formed as if by osmosis from living with, traveling with, listening to, and being around him.

And it worked. After Jesus returned to heaven, Peter and John ministered healing to a lame man at the gate of the temple. That drew a crowd and Peter, never missing an opportunity to speak about Jesus, started preaching. Upset, the authorities hauled Peter and John before the very council that had condemned Jesus to death just weeks prior. And rather than noticing words they said or truths they preached, Peter and John’s demeanor forced the authorities to marvel that “they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13).

It wasn’t information that changed Peter and John. As good Jewish boys they would have been to synagogue school, so it wasn’t knowing the Old Testament. It was more than the words they heard Jesus say. It was being with Him that transformed them from the inside out.

So, how do we do that today?

21^st Century Discipleship

Books, courses, whole careers have been devoted to unpacking Christian discipleship, and lists are always risky. But based on what worked for Jesus, here are three things I’d suggest.

1. “Being with” Jesus as He was on earth

This is where scripture makes a difference. I’ve read the Bible through multiple times, but for many months now I keep circling back through the gospels. I’ve been letting my soul marinate in the story of Jesus – imagining what it would be like to be with Him. When I read the gospels it seems I naturally slow down compared to reading other parts of scripture. I’ll often read just one vignette, soak it in, and sometimes stay there for several days.

Like Jesus’ first disciples did, I want to invite who Jesus was to soak into my subconscious, changing me from the inside out. I want my mental and relational templates to look like His. That doesn’t come through information alone, but through my brain seeing and experiencing Him as He lived and responded in real life.

I want to increasingly respond as He would have when someone interrupts me, when I’m tired, when someone wants my help, when I can’t see the next step clearly, when people are acting very wrong around me, when problems come that I can’t humanly fix, when evil rears its ugly head, or when people let me down.

Our natural responses happen quicker than our conscious mind can choose what to do. Changing those default responses requires new experiences. And we can have those new experiences with Jesus through soaking in the story of Jesus in the gospels.

2. Being with Jesus in prayer today

If your prayers aren’t fostering a sense of being with Jesus, there’s opportunity for improvement in your prayer life. Yes, we call out “Help me!” Or “Thank You!” We make our requests known to Him (Philippians 4:6). That’s prayer. But prayer is also more than that.

Jesus regularly withdrew from the crowds, even from the disciples, to connect deeply with His heavenly Father. You and I need to do the same.

If you’re not used to doing this, here’s how to start.

• Get quiet. Just STOP, even if it’s just for five minutes. Notice what is true about your body, your emotions, your heart. Check in with your soul, and name what is true to yourself.
• Speak that to Jesus. Once you’ve noticed what is true in your heart, verbalize it to Jesus. Tired? Frustrated? Sad? Hurt? Overwhelmed? Afraid? Tell Him about it.
• Let your heart remain still a little longer. “Jesus, do You have anything to say?” Simply invite Him to speak to you. It won’t be the same experience every time; just give Him a chance.

If this is the only change you make in your prayer life, your whole relationship with God can become much richer.

3. Being with Jesus with others

God designed us to grow together. Following Jesus is not a solo sport. There are many ways to do this, some more effective than others. But if Jesus needed people, you and I need people too!

This may feel hard, awkward. Do it anyway. Find what works for you, and don’t stop trying until you do. Many people have been hurt in relationship with other “church people;” take the time to grieve and heal. But just as you were wounded in relationship, you will also be healed in relationship.

And we need to worship with each other. Big church, small church, house church, something. And it’s important to give of yourself, to discover how God is inviting you to serve; that might not be church work/volunteering, but find where that is for you. And it’s important to find where you can be seen and known, a few others to pursue intimacy with, even when it’s messy.

Being with Jesus matters. It’s how you become like Him.

Your turn: How satisfied are you with who you are becoming? How are you being with Jesus now? Where might He be calling you to be with Him more?  Leave a comment below.

Want more? This week’s podcast is my conversation with Dr. Jeannie Hanger about how our physical senses can impact reading the gospels and following Jesus.  Listen or watch.

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