Learning to Grieve Your Losses in Spiritual Formation
What have you lost? Have you learned to grieve your losses? We might not like to think about that. We…
healing
The Effort and Recovery Your Soul Needs for Lasting Transformation
Athletes or anyone interested in physical wellbeing knows that your muscles, bones, heart and lungs, every part of your body…
Bringing Every Part of You to Jesus
Oh, to be whole-hearted! To have every aspect of your inner being aligned in one clear direction, with no parts…
The Human Race Has an Intimacy Disorder
Perhaps it’s my training as a physician, but I often think in terms of diagnosis and treatment. If you don’t…
Learning Trauma Care from Jesus for Survivor or Helper
Some people who are deeply hurting have found the body of Christ to be a safe haven, a refuge from…
Safe Enough: The Kind of Relationship You Actually Need
Just yesterday I was talking with a young woman who said, “People aren’t safe.” There’s a real sense in which…
Faith and Healing After Relational Trauma: How to Move Forward
You have been deeply hurt in relationship. And you will also be healed in relationship. The trauma that comes when…
You Didn’t Choose Your Trauma, But You Can Choose Your Healing
Nobody wakes up one morning and says, “Today I think I’ll mess up my life and the lives of those…
A Holy Week Reflection: Three Aspects of Our Redemption
This week Christians around the world are remembering and celebrating the most momentous event in history – the death and…
When “One Flesh” Tears Apart: The Trauma of Broken Covenant
We don’t use the word covenant much today. But this deeply Biblical concept applies to our lives more than many…
When You Might Need a “New God”
Let me be clear; you don’t get to have any God you want. You don’t get to make God in…
After Betrayal: Forgiveness, Boundaries, Reconciliation, and Trust
People will let you down. It might be an inadvertent misunderstanding, or it might be an intentional and destructive betrayal.…
Let the Light In: Choosing Beauty and Goodness in a Dark World
You can’t get rid of darkness by raging against it; you must turn on the light. A bucket of dirty…
From Rupture to Repair: Working Towards Healing in Your Relationship
Every relationship experiences ruptures. Husband/wife, parent/child, good friends – we are all sinners, and that means some rupture in relationships…
When Love Feels Broken: God’s Healing for Your Marriage
Every marriage has troubles. Every single one! And yet when your relationship struggles it’s easy to wonder if healing for…
Purity: More About the Inside than the Outside
Some words are pregnant with emotional weight. Purity is such a word. At its best, it conveys the idea of…
Healing, Repentance, and Deliverance in Becoming Whole
Feeling stuck in your Christian life? Repeatedly asking for forgiveness only to keep falling into the same sins? Are the…
How to Consecrate Your Sex Life to Jesus Daily
Many people who are seeking to follow Jesus struggle with their sexuality. You might be like Paul, doing what you…
You’re Not Too Far Gone: The Hope That Changes Everything
When the sun sets, how often do you worry that it’s gone forever? Probably never. If you’re sick or lonely,…
What Happens When Jesus Shows Up?
It’s incredibly exhilarating to watch God do something miraculous. When Jesus shows up and heals a troubled soul – there’s…
4 Tensions to Manage so you can Experience Authentic Intimacy
I can’t be vulnerable; people will walk all over me. … People don’t like my honest self, so I have…
Imagine the End: Relate Better Today, Regret Less Tomorrow
It’s a principle Jim Collins talked about years ago; begin with the end in mind. It changes what you do…
When Church Hurts a Woman’s Relationship with God
Church should be the safest place on earth. The family of God should be the place where every single human…
Where Is God in Trauma? Jesus’ Message to Survivors
Trauma is a hot topic in culture today. Even if that word is perhaps overused, the statistics are clear; a…
How to Experience Jesus’ Presence and Find Real Transformation
If you’re a parent, you know what this is like. Your little one is learning to sleep in their own…
Messed Up Again? Use Your Slip to Fall Forward
Jesus loves repeat sinners. (Are there any other kind?) It’s not that slips are OK; they’re not. But what do…
The Lies, Wounds, and Empty Places that Messed You Up
The human heart is not a pretty place. At least not after living in this world for any length of…
Your Story Holds the Key: Find Deeper Intimacy with Yourself, Others, and God
Oh, how good we are at hiding! Humans have been practicing hiding ever since the Garden of Eden, and we’ve…
How to Recover from Sexual Harm
A wise person said to me recently, “I no longer ask ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I ask, ‘What happened to…
Your Spouse is NOT the Key to a Better Sex Life
Many married people I talk with say something like, “If my spouse would just say Yes to sex, I wouldn’t…
Overcome Your Complex Relationship with Sex, Intimacy, and God
Believe it or not, sex and all that comes with it affects you deeply. Your relationship with sex is complicated.…
How to Find “Your People” When You Need Help
Isolation is dangerous. But connecting is often hard. In my work with people this is almost always the most challenging…
How Did We Get Here? Your Sexual Story Matters
When I talk with someone for the first time who’s asking for help I usually ask, “What’s your story? How…
Healing After Betrayal: How to Rebuild Your Life and Move Forward
My friend had been betrayed. “It was a sucker punch in my gut.” I’m not sure there’s anything humans can…
5 Ways to Befriend Your Feelings as a Follower of Jesus
Feelings are fickle. They’re real, but they’re unreliable. Emotions can be affected by everything happening both inside you and around…
From Hurt to Whole: The Power of Making the Choice to Heal
Time alone does not heal all wounds. Healing does not simply happen to you. God rarely “rains” healing down on…
What’s the State of Your Heart?
Think of someone you love to be around. How would you describe their heart? Chances are their inner being is…
What’s Required for Healthy Sexual Discipleship?
A spouse feeling hurt and lonely because their partner seems uninterested in sexual intimacy. A young (or not-so-young) person heavy…
Three Steps to Becoming Whole After Being Sexually Harmed
Nobody wakes up one day and says, “Today I want to mess up.” You have a story. You came to…
What’s Your Story – Your Sexual Story?
Yes, you have a sexual story. Some of that story may be good, even very good. But if “good” described…
Do You Need Better Personal Relationships?
In observing and working with people for decades now, I’ve seen how the biggest determinant of a person’s sense of…
What to Do About the Three Kinds of Suffering
You are suffering. Surprise! Welcome to the human race. And of course that’s not at all reassuring. Our culture trains…
Five Key Elements in the Process of Becoming Sexually Whole
Many of the people I talk with wish God would just “zap” them from their current state of misery and…
What Have You Done With Your Need for Intimacy?
For starters, intimacy is not sex. Our sexualized culture has mostly said “express yourself; anything goes.” But people are lonelier…
An Apology from the One Who Hurt You as a Man or a Woman
Who do you need an apology from? Who has wounded you? Our deepest hurts often come from those we “should”…
Three Characteristics of Toxic Religion
Do you ever get a queasy feeling when thinking about your church or ministry experiences? OK, you’re “supposed” to connect…
When God-Talk has Brought Pain to Your Sexuality
Love it or hate it, sex is a big deal. God cares about your sexuality, and the Bible has a…
Does Sexual Sin Make You Disqualified? What’s Next?
The thief is always out to “steal, kill, and destroy,” (John 10:10), and sin is destructive. But sexual sin seems…
The Loneliness Epidemic Got You? How to Find Peace and Connection
You can feel lonely in a crowd or a friendship or a marriage, and you can feel perfectly happy and…
What to Do When God’s “Truth” and Your Experience Collide
You “know” what’s right. Or you’re pretty sure you do. Then why does it feel so – wrong? Your head,…
