Dealing with the Roots of Sexual “Stuff”
If you’ve been mowing the weeds of troubling, unwanted, or ungodly sexual thoughts or behaviors and they keep growing back,…
healing
Why God Invented Sex
How is intimacy going for you? It is good, healthy, nourishing? Or have your attempts at intimacy resulted in only…
“I Hate Sex!”
If your heart whispers – or screams – “I hate sex”, you’re not alone. That might sound as strange as…
5 Steps to Take if you Messed Up in your Marriage
Marriage is the union of two sinners. You can be sure your spouse will mess up; that’s what sinners do.…
10 Scriptures for the Journey Through Grief
Death hurts. A lot! The testimony of Scripture and of Christians during the last 2000+ years is that believing in…
What Forgiveness IS and ISN’T
At some point you will have to deal with the matter of forgiveness. For people who are Christians or who…
Take Jesus There With You
God doesn’t simply rain down healing or transformation from “on high.” Instead, He came to be with us. And in…
How I Push Through the Holiday Blues
Holidays are supposed to be “happy and bright,” right? But every year I hear from people for whom the holiday…
Are You Wounding or Healing Your Spouse?
You’re probably doing both. Two sinners getting married is a setup for pain – and for transformation. It’s likely you’re…
How to Deal with Masturbation and Pornography as a Christian
How do you handle the solo sexual stuff? How do you deal with masturbation and pornography as a Christian? I’m…
God Help Me! I’m Sick!
Sickness and disease: is it simply a fact of life on this miserable, sin-filled, messed-up planet? Is it our own…
How Sexual Questions are Spiritual Questions
A spouse feeling lost and lonely because their husband or wife isn’t interested in sexual intimacy. A young (or not-so-young)…
Helping Your Spouse Move Past Their Past
Every human being comes into marriage with baggage. You cannot make it through a couple decades or more of life…
Undo the Shame, Unlock your Transformation
Hiding is human. But if any part of you wants things to be different, it’s time to undo the shame…
Finding Purpose To Your Pain: How to Overcome Emotional Trauma Biblically
How do you walk towards healing after loss, abuse or some other traumatic situation? In this fascinating discussion with author…
How to Forgive Your Spouse When It’s Hard
In every marriage people get wounded. Your spouse is a flawed human being, a sinner who causes you pain. (You…
How Your Troubles Lead to Transformation
Think back to the times you’ve made some significant step forward – overcoming a bad habit, developing a new skill,…
How Changing Your Past Can Change Your Future
A wise mentor once told me, “You can never step into the same river twice.” Life happens. You can’t recreate…
How Forgiveness Opens the Door to Transformation
If you’re human you’ve been wounded. No one escapes. And when wounded, we do things and make decisions that result…
Working Together With God For Your Freedom
Freedom is a metaphor used too often in Scripture for us to ignore. It’s not the only Biblical picture of…
Holiday Blues: Coping with Depression and Loneliness This Season
Perhaps you’re too young to remember Elvis’s Blue Christmas, but you may find yourself fighting a serious case of the…
When Your Past Complicates Intimacy
People who research such things say that somewhere around 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men have been…
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Sure, others wound us. But many of our wounds are self-inflicted. God created us for intimacy, but we too often…
Why God Created Us For Intimacy
Hiding is human. We’ve been doing it ever since Adam and Eve tried to hide from God in the Garden…
How to Receive Healing from God
We all need to receive healing from God. (And if you believe you’re the exception, you need an extra special…
What to do with Pain as a Widow: 2 Critical Keys
There’s no way to make death and grief OK. Death is an aberration in God’s universe, and every time we…
7 Steps to Freedom from Pornography and Compulsive Masturbation
How do you find freedom from compulsive sexual behavior? What does it look like? What does it take to get…
Being WITH is Not Enough: What Comes After “God With Us”
Jesus came to be “God With Us.” He responded to our hopeless situation not by shouting truth at us, but…
God With Us: When “Truth” Doesn’t Matter
Someone has hurt you – badly. Or you face a really tough decision. Or something happens to rock you to…
7 Steps to Dealing with BIG Marriage Problems
You could handle the little things, or so you tell yourself. You could pick up his dirty clothes now and…
How to Find Healing: It’s a Choice
Healing is not something that simply happens to you. Instead, it’s something you work toward, search for, and live out.…
What to do if you Feel Unloved
Unwanted. Rejected. Second class. Fifth wheel. Unimportant. Not good enough. Lonely. You feel unloved, and it hurts. You want to…
How to Know God as your Husband
There’s that Scripture you know should mean more to you: “Your Maker is your husband.” (Isaiah 54:5) But you’re just…
Women’s Health and Shame
Women’s health topics bring up such strong emotions – “for” and “against” and everything in-between. By listening to some people you’d…
When You Pray and are Still Sick
God is a Healer. That’s His very nature. And yet there are many believers who are still sick. If you’re…
5 Things the Bible Says to Those who are Depressed
Some people live lives filled with trouble or trauma, and it’s easy to understand why they feel tired, down, and…
7 Things to do After God Heals You
Hallelujah! God has touched you! You know in your body and in your soul that God has stepped in and…
How God Deals With the Consequences of Bad Behavior
In this world we all face bad stuff. Sometimes others wound you, and those scars are painful. But what can…
Feeling Abandoned by God When You’re Sick
Physical illness, especially when it’s long-term, can unsettle your world. It saps your energy and possibly your finances. It throws…
How to Disinfect Your Shame
We are all wounded. Life happens to us. People hurt us. And we hurt ourselves. But when the infection of…
Who Should You Ask For Help
When you’re successful at doing it all on your own you’re left with feelings of accomplishment and pride. More often,…
What to Do If You Feel Guilty After Watching 50 Shades of Grey
Three years ago the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy became a publishing phenomenon. And 10 days ago the movie version…
How to Pray When You Don’t Know How
You talk with your family and friends. You send text messages, write emails, and post updates on social media. You…
Forgiveness Is Not Enough
The forgiveness step in salvation, as wonderful as it is, is only one small piece. Jesus, Paul, and other New Testament writers present a much more radical picture of what it means to become a follower of Jesus.
He presented an unbelievably high standard of behavior, character, and service. Jesus showed that He is much more interested in your future than your past.
How God Can Heal Your Lonely Heart
You’re single, with no good prospects in sight. You’re lonely, and you want to do things God’s way. You long for someone to love, and to love you. So why isn’t God coming through with a spouse for you?
You’ve heard people talk about God meeting your heart’s needs, and intellectually you believe He can. But you’re lonely. Right now you want a God with “skin on.”
When Your Soul Is Tired
In the 21st century there are so many things that can wear us out. An unhealthy lifestyle, lack of sleep, digital overload, complicated relationships, and stress of all kinds is enough to make any one of us exhausted.
But perhaps the most paralyzing of all is exhaustion of the soul. All the other stresses of life can certainly make your body and mind vulnerable, but soul fatigue leaves you barely existing rather than living.
2 Questions to Help You Decide If Your Marriage Is Too Destructive To Save
If you’re wrestling with a painful or destructive marriage, you know all too well the frustration, tears, and loneliness involved. You know the feelings of powerlessness, shame, sadness, disappointment, or guilt. You may have prayed, cried, and done all you know, and are only left with weariness and hopelessness.
There are two things I know for sure:
When God-Talk or Religion Is Part of Abuse
When religion, church, God-talk, or spirituality is included as an aspect of abuse it becomes even more damaging. It’s bad enough that your body and soul are hurt in the process; it’s even worse when your spirit is abused and assaulted at the same time.
When the abuser uses spiritual jargon to justify the abuse it adds a further dimension to the healing that is needed.
Healing can be a challenging process. Here are a few thoughts for those who need healing when God-talk was part of the abuse or violence:
MEMO: Getting Past Your Past
Have you ever felt really stuck? It feels like something big has its claws in your brain and you just can’t move. No matter how hard you try you can’t get rid of the baggage that is weighing you down and holding you back.
We all come with a past. Some of our baggage is stuff others have done to us. Some of our baggage is stuff we have done to ourselves.
But how do you get past all that? Here’s how:
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
You’ve been wronged. Badly.
There comes a time after every such horrible wrong where you must make a decision. And it’s yours alone to make. You have only two choices. Do you remain hurt and miserable, or do the hard work of forgiveness.
Forgiveness sets you free. It does much more for the one doing the forgiving than the one needing to be forgiven.
Forgiveness is also one of the hardest things for most people to do. There’s a sweet misery in nursing your wounds. Having been hurt is a wonderful excuse for all kinds of bad behavior.
