When Church Hurts a Woman’s Relationship with God
Church should be the safest place on earth. The family of God should be the place where every single human…
abuse
Where Is God in Trauma? Jesus’ Message to Survivors
Trauma is a hot topic in culture today. Even if that word is perhaps overused, the statistics are clear; a…
How to Recover from Sexual Harm
A wise person said to me recently, “I no longer ask ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I ask, ‘What happened to…
How Sex Has Lost its Glory: Intimacy Gone Wrong
God created you for something good, a level of goodness we can only begin to imagine now. He built into…
Sexual Anorexia, Asexuality – Is It a Thing?
I don’t like labels. Sometimes descriptive phrases can be meaningful, but when they become labels they’re more often harmful than…
How I’m Wrestling with Feeling Angry About Marriage
I’m angry. And I’m wrestling with what Paul says; “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun…
Is It Gossip, Loyalty, Cover-up, or Getting Help?
Should you tell? Does keeping it hidden mean you’re being loyal – to the family? To the church? Does telling…
Submission in Christian Marriage
Hear the word “submission” and “marriage” in the same sentence and you may be gripped by the sudden urge to…
Rebuilding Your Marriage After Traumatizing Sex
God intended married sex to be life-giving – mutual, satisfying, exciting, comforting, bonding, nourishing, joyful. Evil has so hijacked sex,…
To the Wife Traumatized by Married Sex
Just because sex happens within marriage doesn’t always mean it’s good. God designed sex to be a beautiful life-giving nurturing…
What Makes God Angry: It’s Not What You Think
I’ve sensed God’s anger. And it’s one of the most empowering, refreshing, encouraging parts of my recent walk with God.…
Recovering from Spiritual Abuse
When you’ve been harmed in the name of God, the path to wholeness is long and slow. Last time we…
When You’ve Been Harmed in the Name of God
It’s not just a salacious news article or one more statistic when it’s happened to you. When “God” is used…
Sex Before Marriage: What I Did Right – And Wrong
I did it right. I made it. I didn’t have sex before marriage. And it was a long wait, too.…
Is My Marriage Toxic?
How bad is bad enough? When you are unhappily married that can be a difficult question. If you’re serious about…
“I Hate Sex!”
If your heart whispers – or screams – “I hate sex”, you’re not alone. That might sound as strange as…
Is Your Marriage Beyond Repair?
How bad is bad enough? How long do you need to “put up with” seriously destructive behavior from your spouse?…
Finding Purpose To Your Pain: How to Overcome Emotional Trauma Biblically
How do you walk towards healing after loss, abuse or some other traumatic situation? In this fascinating discussion with author…
Submission in Christian Marriage
Hear the words “submission” and “marriage” in the same sentence and you may feel something visceral rise up in your…
When Your Past Complicates Intimacy
People who research such things say that somewhere around 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men have been…
Responding to #MeToo with More than a Hashtag
Gretchen Carlson. Alyssa Milano. Angelina Jolie. Katie Couric. Lady Gaga. Beth Moore. Kay Warren. Thousands of women from every walk…
When Is It Abuse?
God designed marriage to be a transformative, healing, growth-producing, fulfilling relationship full of intimacy and love. In our sinful messed-up…
When you should NOT have Sex with your Spouse
If your marriage is relatively happy and healthy and your sex life together is satisfying, this is not for you.…
Your Spouse’s Bad Behavior: 5 Things to Do
Your spouse’s bad behavior can make your life seem as though it’s falling apart. Your psyche is stretched to the…
7 Things to Know if your Spouse is a Christian and Abusive
God-talk and violence – physical, sexual, mental, or spiritual – have mixed for centuries. Sadly that same mixture shows up…
What to Do when Your Husband Calls You Frigid
Your husband berates you when you turn down his requests for sex, or when you don’t want to do the…
7 Steps to Dealing with BIG Marriage Problems
You could handle the little things, or so you tell yourself. You could pick up his dirty clothes now and…
A Woman’s Beauty and Strength: Dangerous or Delightful?
Can we talk? Just you and me, girlfriend? A woman’s beauty is one source of her strength. But everything depends…
Helping the Least of These
There’s a long-running commercial on television in the US that tries to raise money for an organization helping abused and…
How to Disinfect Your Shame
We are all wounded. Life happens to us. People hurt us. And we hurt ourselves. But when the infection of…
How to “Make Up” When You’ve Hurt Your Spouse
As uncomfortable as it may be, saying “I’m sorry” for a small thing to someone you may never see again…
What to Do If You Feel Guilty After Watching 50 Shades of Grey
Three years ago the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy became a publishing phenomenon. And 10 days ago the movie version…
5 Questions to Ask When Somebody Doesn’t Like You
There will always be people who don’t agree with you. Some people see the world differently than you do, and…
The Gospel Is Not For Wimps!
Sometimes we think the message of the Gospel offers good people a way to become better, get over their hangups…
In The War On Women, Are You A Victim, A Survivor, Or A Warrior?
There’s been a lot of talk about a war against women recently. I agree! There HAS been a war against women, but it’s not the war that’s being talked about in much of the progressive media. It’s a war that’s much older, much more sinister, and much more dangerous, than anything related to healthcare or so-called reproductive rights.
2 Questions to Help You Decide If Your Marriage Is Too Destructive To Save
If you’re wrestling with a painful or destructive marriage, you know all too well the frustration, tears, and loneliness involved. You know the feelings of powerlessness, shame, sadness, disappointment, or guilt. You may have prayed, cried, and done all you know, and are only left with weariness and hopelessness.
There are two things I know for sure:
When God-Talk or Religion Is Part of Abuse
When religion, church, God-talk, or spirituality is included as an aspect of abuse it becomes even more damaging. It’s bad enough that your body and soul are hurt in the process; it’s even worse when your spirit is abused and assaulted at the same time.
When the abuser uses spiritual jargon to justify the abuse it adds a further dimension to the healing that is needed.
Healing can be a challenging process. Here are a few thoughts for those who need healing when God-talk was part of the abuse or violence:
MEMO: Getting Past Your Past
Have you ever felt really stuck? It feels like something big has its claws in your brain and you just can’t move. No matter how hard you try you can’t get rid of the baggage that is weighing you down and holding you back.
We all come with a past. Some of our baggage is stuff others have done to us. Some of our baggage is stuff we have done to ourselves.
But how do you get past all that? Here’s how:
Don’t Let These 4 Dangerous Spiritual Viruses Infect You
Sandra and Tom plan to never enter a church again. They feel bruised and beaten emotionally and spiritually at the hand of a group of Christians, and feel their only hope of survival is to separate from the Christian church as they see it.
Unhealthy spirituality can be toxic – to your mental well-being, to your physical health, and to your relationship with God. Don’t let one of these dangerous spiritual viruses infect your life:
“God Is Your Father” – Good News or Bad?
If you’ve gone to church or read the Bible you’ve surely heard that God is your Father. You’re supposed to feel safe and secure knowing that. The thought of God as your Father is supposed to make you want to run into His arms with joy, knowing He will handle all your problems.
But does it really make you feel that way?
When Only Tears Will Do
Last weekend I was around plenty of tears. This time they were not mine, but those of other women sharing their stories.
I had been invited to be part of a conference on domestic violence, addressing the emotional, physical, legal, and spiritual aspects of this terrible reality. During the final session the participants were invited to say whatever they wished, and they started sharing their stories.
And they cried!
