Facing the Internal Opposition to Becoming Whole: 3 Things to Do
Time for a reality check. If you haven’t sensed it already you soon will; your journey to becoming whole will…
recovery
Training, Not Trying: The Secret to Spiritual Growth
Trying harder just wears you out. And trying to become like Jesus can feel especially discouraging. But there’s a very…
Bringing Every Part of You to Jesus
Oh, to be whole-hearted! To have every aspect of your inner being aligned in one clear direction, with no parts…
Learning Trauma Care from Jesus for Survivor or Helper
Some people who are deeply hurting have found the body of Christ to be a safe haven, a refuge from…
Safe Enough: The Kind of Relationship You Actually Need
Just yesterday I was talking with a young woman who said, “People aren’t safe.” There’s a real sense in which…
After Betrayal: Forgiveness, Boundaries, Reconciliation, and Trust
People will let you down. It might be an inadvertent misunderstanding, or it might be an intentional and destructive betrayal.…
From Rupture to Repair: Working Towards Healing in Your Relationship
Every relationship experiences ruptures. Husband/wife, parent/child, good friends – we are all sinners, and that means some rupture in relationships…
When Love Feels Broken: God’s Healing for Your Marriage
Every marriage has troubles. Every single one! And yet when your relationship struggles it’s easy to wonder if healing for…
What Does Sexual Wholeness Look Like?
What is Jesus inviting you into? Steve imagined a life of striving and trying harder, never feeling like he could…
What Happens When Jesus Shows Up?
It’s incredibly exhilarating to watch God do something miraculous. When Jesus shows up and heals a troubled soul – there’s…
4 Tensions to Manage so you can Experience Authentic Intimacy
I can’t be vulnerable; people will walk all over me. … People don’t like my honest self, so I have…
What If Everything You Learned About Relationships Was Wrong?
If you’ve ever had an original thought, you’re one of very few humans who have. We are great mimics, learning…
When Church Hurts a Woman’s Relationship with God
Church should be the safest place on earth. The family of God should be the place where every single human…
The Lies, Wounds, and Empty Places that Messed You Up
The human heart is not a pretty place. At least not after living in this world for any length of…
How to Recover from Sexual Harm
A wise person said to me recently, “I no longer ask ‘What’s wrong with me?’ I ask, ‘What happened to…
Deep Transformation: How to Become Different from the Inside Out
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. You’ve probably heard that before. But you may find yourself…
Why Doesn’t God Deliver Me From This Addiction?
Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Porn. Gambling. Food. Video games. Nicotine. Social media. We could extend that list to any number of…
Healing After Betrayal: How to Rebuild Your Life and Move Forward
My friend had been betrayed. “It was a sucker punch in my gut.” I’m not sure there’s anything humans can…
How Your Sexual Story Affects Your Mental Health
We live in an epidemic of mental/emotional health issues. There are many factors involved, and it’s impossible to completely differentiate…
Five Key Elements in the Process of Becoming Sexually Whole
Many of the people I talk with wish God would just “zap” them from their current state of misery and…
An Apology from the One Who Hurt You as a Man or a Woman
Who do you need an apology from? Who has wounded you? Our deepest hurts often come from those we “should”…
Why Healing from Intimacy Gone Wrong Requires Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a big deal. Your head knows Jesus forgives you, but your heart still wonders, especially when you keep…
How Sex Has Lost its Glory: Intimacy Gone Wrong
God created you for something good, a level of goodness we can only begin to imagine now. He built into…
Beyond Bad Behavior: Get From Sobriety to Recovery to Redemption
Every addiction is a whole-person “disease.” The “thing” might be alcohol, pornography, sex, gambling, video games, or a multitude of…
Three Things to Do With Your Messy Sexual Story
Every single day, no exceptions, I hear from people struggling. Men and women, married and unmarried, young and old, from…
Sexual Anorexia, Asexuality – Is It a Thing?
I don’t like labels. Sometimes descriptive phrases can be meaningful, but when they become labels they’re more often harmful than…
How to Experience God’s Presence in Your Past Trauma
We’ve all experienced “stuff.” No one comes through life unscathed. What’s in your bucket of stuff is different from what’s…
How Past Intimacy Gone Wrong may Harm Your Marriage Now
Your marriage didn’t start with a blank slate when it comes to intimacy. You may think your spouse is the…
When Pain Makes it Feel Impossible to Connect with the Family of God
After being deeply hurt in church or experiencing spiritual abuse you want to hide. Your body and soul may recoil…
Three Things You Need to Recover from Church Hurt
“Raise your hand if you have not been hurt in church.” Just this week I heard a friend of mine…
Is It Gossip, Loyalty, Cover-up, or Getting Help?
Should you tell? Does keeping it hidden mean you’re being loyal – to the family? To the church? Does telling…
Rebuilding Your Marriage After Traumatizing Sex
God intended married sex to be life-giving – mutual, satisfying, exciting, comforting, bonding, nourishing, joyful. Evil has so hijacked sex,…
To the Wife Traumatized by Married Sex
Just because sex happens within marriage doesn’t always mean it’s good. God designed sex to be a beautiful life-giving nurturing…
Recovering from Spiritual Abuse
When you’ve been harmed in the name of God, the path to wholeness is long and slow. Last time we…
Hiding and Intimacy: They Cannot Coexist
Are you aware of how you are hiding? You are hiding, you know, whether you think you are or not.…
Becoming a Recovering People-Pleaser
The trap of people-pleasing is an easy one to fall into. I’m sure personality has something to do with it.…
Things to Know and Do if You’re Married to an Addict
You love him/her. Really, you do. But your marriage is marred by addiction. Can you survive this? Can your marriage…
How to Deal with What’s Under the Surface
What’s under the surface in your heart will continue to define you until and unless you deal with it. All…
What You Don’t Know About Marriage CAN Hurt You
Marriage as God intended it to be is about learning to love well. We don’t learn that automatically. What you…
The Difference Between Codependency and Love
Unhealthy people draw other people into their dysfunction. Anyone trying to be married to, or parent, or care for, or…
Broken Creche, Broken Heart at Christmas
The little olivewood creche was special to me ever since I had purchased it at a little tourist shop in…
When Your Spouse Hurts You
You will be wounded in your marriage. It’s not a question of if, but when your spouse hurts you. But…
A Response to Suicide Prevention Day
What does it look like to heal from being broken-hearted? Is it possible? Last week, September 10, the world honored…
What Restoration Actually Looks Like
A marriage that’s damaged through infidelity. A public figure who betrays the trust of those they lead. A pastor caught…
“I Hate Sex!”
If your heart whispers – or screams – “I hate sex”, you’re not alone. That might sound as strange as…
What I’ve Learned from Being Single – Again
Being single again often seems harder. As difficult as navigating singleness as a never-married young (or not-so-young) person can be,…
Finding Purpose To Your Pain: How to Overcome Emotional Trauma Biblically
How do you walk towards healing after loss, abuse or some other traumatic situation? In this fascinating discussion with author…
How Changing Your Past Can Change Your Future
A wise mentor once told me, “You can never step into the same river twice.” Life happens. You can’t recreate…
Quit Looking Back; Transformation is Ahead
Nobody gets through life without a past. Everyone God has used, is using now, or will use has a past.…
Responding to #MeToo with More than a Hashtag
Gretchen Carlson. Alyssa Milano. Angelina Jolie. Katie Couric. Lady Gaga. Beth Moore. Kay Warren. Thousands of women from every walk…
