Some words are pregnant with emotional weight. Purity is such a word. At its best, it conveys the idea of wholeness, integrity, unmixed with contaminants, such as in pure gold. Purity is a Biblical concept, though not usually in the way most people think. But for many today, purity is a dirty word because its superficial meaning has been weaponized.

The idea of purity came to mean no sex in any context other than with your spouse. And that’s the only place God intended sex to be enjoyed. But that focus often raised more questions than it solved. If you were exposed to porn or sexually abused, are you then impure? If a dating couple does everything but intercourse, are they still “pure”? Are there two categories of people, and once you become “impure” you’re forever second-class? And so many more emotionally-laden questions.

Let me state three categorical truths:

1. What you do with your body matters.
2. Every single human being is impure.
3. Jesus cares most about the matters of the heart.

None of these truths diminishes the truth of the others. So, let’s unpack each of those ideas and how they relate to each other.

What you do with your body matters

Contemporary culture would have you believe on the one hand that you can do whatever you want with your body, while on the other hand saying your feelings define your sexuality, gender, and reality. Pleasure and hedonism on one hand, nihilism on the other.

Traditional Christian teaching, especially in the last few decades of the 20^th century, made your sexuality the measure of your spirituality. Don’t have intercourse outside of marriage and you’re good; slip up sexually and you may be forgiven but you’ll be forever scarred. While that perspective embraces some truth, it actually idolizes the body, spiritualizing sex in the same way pagans have done for millennia.

Behaviors matter. God cares about what you do with your body. Paul’s discussion of your body as the temple of the Holy Spirit is placed squarely in the context of sexual behavior (1 Corinthians 6:15-20). Scripture is consistent in portraying evil as enticing us to sin with our bodies.

And that’s not the end of the story. God created our human bodies as very good, including in our sexuality, our maleness or femaleness (Genesis 1:27). As Christopher West eloquently says, our bodies tell God’s story. Jesus came as an embodied human being. When He rose again He didn’t leave His body behind; the tomb is empty! And our bodies, too, are being redeemed and will be glorified (Romans 8:23, 1 Corinthians 15:53).

What do you do with that? First, don’t idolize either sex or sexual abstinence. Become a friend to your body, and daily submit your sexuality to Jesus.

Every single human being is impure

Your world can be rocked, as mine was, when you realize how deep our problem as human beings is, and how deep your own issues are. Sin is not just external actions we do, although it is that; our very being, our soul’s DNA so to speak, has been marred, sullied, corrupted. We still bear the image of God, which is very good, but trying harder to conform to an outward list of behaviors can never change the heart.

That’s why Jesus regularly called out the religious leaders of His day, who looked great – righteous – on the outside, but inside were “full of dead men’s bones” (Matthew 23:27). It’s what I had to wrestle with in what I did right – and wrong – about sex before marriage.

For someone who has been raised with a traditional Christian sexual ethic and refrains from sexual activity outside of marriage, what are they doing with their sexuality? You are a sexual being regardless of relationship status. For a married person who has never had sex with anyone other than their spouse, does that make them “holy”? What about their criticism, objectification of their spouse, anger, entitlement, controlling behavior, flirtation with other people, or passive aggressiveness?

In my work with many women, men, and couples, I have yet to encounter someone, anyone, who has not been sinned against sexually and who has not also sinned sexually. That may not mean they had intercourse outside of marriage, but intimacy has gone wrong for them in some way, and they have responded sinfully in some way.

That’s really good news! As Paul said, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost” (1 Timothy 1;15). Only sinners need a Savior. Praise Jesus forever, we have One! And that salvation means so much more than just forgiveness.

Jesus cares most about matters of the heart

Jesus was always addressing the heart. He never minimized the impact of behaviors, but He was always looking at the deeper issues. When asked about behaviors He often pointed to the heart as the real issue (Mark 7:20-23). Jesus pointed to the pure in heart as those who will see God (Matthew 5:8).

When it comes to sexuality specifically, Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). Jesus was not removing the prohibition against adultery; He was shining the spotlight on the true heart issues.

And what is the goal of the Christian life? It’s not to have a happy marriage and family, or to become straight, or to try harder and white-knuckle it long enough to keep from a specific list of sinful behaviors, eventually becoming old enough that some temptations lose their strength. Not at all. The goal is to become “conformed to the image of his Son” (Romans 8:29).

And that only comes through transformation from the inside out. You can’t be, or become, pure by taking a shower, by refraining from sex outside of marriage, or any other behavior. Purity is a dirty word when it is primarily applied to the outside and misses the matters of the heart.

None of us can get there by working harder at it. It’s why we need a heart transplant (Ezekiel 36:26). It’s why we must stick around and keep opening the door to the inner places of our heart to Him. We simply keep showing up, and keep saying Yes to what Jesus is doing on our insides.

As this beautiful song says, Oh, I want Jesus. Oh, I want Him. Oh, only Jesus. Take this world and give me Him.

And then purity is no longer a dirty word.

Your Turn: Is purity a dirty word to you? What’s the emotional content of that idea in your soul? What does reframing purity in this way say to you?  Leave a comment below.

Want more? On the podcast this week I talk with Dr. Camden Morgante about purity – the good, the bad, and the ugly. You’ll be encouraged. Listen or watch.

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• Purity is a dirty word, at least for many, but that’s a distortion. What you do with your body does matter. But Jesus cares most about matters of the heart. That’s what purity is about to Him.  Tweet that.

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