Jesus loves repeat sinners. (Are there any other kind?) It’s not that slips are OK; they’re not. But what do you do next? If you’ve messed up again, the easiest most natural response is to either hide and cower in shame, to try to work harder for “next time,” or usually a combination of both. How’s that working for you?

If you’re truly seeking to follow Jesus, if you truly desire to become more like Him, your slip bothers you. I often hear from people who say something like, “I’m worn out from trying harder, but I keep messing up. I don’t know what else to do.” Or, “God must hate me. How long is He going to put up with me?” Or, “I must not really be a Christian, or I wouldn’t have fallen again.”

Everyone who embarks on a journey of transformation will slip and fall. The classic illustration works because it’s true; a toddler learning to walk will fall down! Don’t cover it up. Don’t pretend it’s OK. Sometimes those slips have longer-lasting consequences than other times, and sometimes they really hurt you and/or others. But it’s not the slip that matters most; it’s what you do next that counts.

This is a universal human experience, and you need some tools for what to do when you’ve messed up again.

Run TO Jesus

Your first instinct may be to run away and hide – from yourself, from God, and from others, like Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden. Don’t go there. It’s the enemy who immediately shows up to heap shame on you. I’m not sure where I saw this, but it fits: Religion says, “I messed up. My dad is going to kill me!” The gospel says, “I messed up. I better call my Dad.”

Run to Jesus when you slip, not away from Him. Run to Him as fast as you can. He will never turn you away. Never.

Even if you intellectually believe that God will forgive you, you may be tempted to feel there’s a limit to His forgiveness. This time maybe you’ve gone too far. Or you may struggle to sense and feel His forgiveness in your soul. Recognize that those are lies the enemy would love you to believe. Don’t let them stop you from running to Jesus.

Sexual issues, specifically, can feel especially shameful. You can’t imagine coming closer to God when you’ve just messed up again – sexually. Your brain may need some help in that moment. So, right then, try singing “Jesus loves me” to yourself. Sing it out loud.

Yes, “Jesus loves me” – right now. Right in the middle of this mess. With the computer screen or phone still open to that pornographic video. With your hands still wet from your sexual acting out. While you’re still naked in that other person’s bed. He loves you – right now!

Run to Jesus. “Jesus, help!” He will always receive you.

He loves you – right now. AND, He also never leaves you the way He finds you. You need a way out, and He offers that.

Review Your Escape Plan

You do have one, right? God’s usual way of working with you is not to remove temptation, but to make a “way of escape” (1 Corinthians 10:13). And this is one of the most powerful ways of cooperating with God in your journey of transformation. It’s you working together with God (see Philippians 2:12-13).

An escape plan is not “trying harder;” it’s setting yourself up for success. It’s exerting your God-given agency over what you do with your body and mind. An escape plan is something you think through in advance. What will you do with your body when you’re tempted? What will you do with your mind? Which messages will you tell yourself at that moment?

An escape plan is most effective when it addresses the earliest triggers that get you started down that dark road. Is a Friday night alone a problem? Or when your spouse says No to sex? It might be when you’re tired, or lonely. Your escape plan will also need to include preventative measures, such as being a friend to your body and learning to feed yourself.

When you slip, review the triggers that started you down that dark road, and update your escape plan for what you will do in that same situation next time. “I won’t do that next time” is not an escape plan; it must be tangible and active. Your plan might be to call a friend, take a walk, sing a song, clean the house, listen to specific music, or whatever. Make an escape plan, and update it after you slip.

Get and Stay Connected

This is the most challenging step to take for most people I talk with. You’d prefer to do this just between you and Jesus; including other people is – embarrassing! But I’ve never yet met one person, not one, who got out of a long-standing negative behavior pattern by just doing it themselves. God’s way of working is almost always to have you connected to a few others.

Find a friend. Start with just one person. Prayerfully ask God to show you who that might be. If you’re married, this must be somebody in addition to your spouse. Approach them with something like, “God is stretching me, and I know I need to connect with someone more intentionally. I wonder if you might be one of my people. Could I tell you something?”

You’ll need to choose wisely, but find your people! This is imperfect, and messy, and hard. But I truly believe you won’t experience freedom and victory any other way.

Your people need to be part of your escape plan, and they need to be part of your ongoing maintenance in becoming more and more like Jesus.

Consecrate That Part of You to Jesus

Whatever it is, make Jesus the Lord of that part of your life. Consecrate that specific aspect of you to Him.

Is it your money? Find yourself spending money you don’t have for things that are unwise or unnecessary? Consecrate your finances, your bank account, your income, your checkbook, your debit card, to Him.

Maybe it’s your emotional reactions to stress or to people. Consecrate your sadness, your anxiety, your loneliness, your anger, to Him. That doesn’t mean you won’t have “negative” feelings; it means that you give Him Lordship over how you handle those feelings.

Perhaps it’s your marriage. It might be time to trust God with your marriage, and seek His input for what you do next.

Struggling with sexual wholeness? Consecrate your sex life to Him. Give Him full permission to tell you how to steward your desires, arousal, attractions, satisfaction (or not), or any other aspect. If your sex life is consecrated to Jesus, He gets the final say.

Keep Showing Up. Keep Saying Yes.

You don’t really want to keep having to say, “I messed up again,” right? The only way to experience real freedom is to let Jesus change you from the inside out. And you do that by continuing to show up where He can do His work in you. And when the Holy Spirit puts His finger on something and says, “Let Me change you here!”, you say Yes.

That’s really what pursuing intimacy with God is all about. Just don’t quit! Stick around, and He will do His work in you.

Your Turn: What have you usually done when you’ve messed up again? Which of these elements will you bring into your lifestyle so that you can write a different story next time?  Leave a comment below.

Want more? On the podcast episode this week I talk about turning slips into stepping stones toward more transformation. Listen or watch.

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• You messed up again. What do you do next? Instead of hiding or trying harder, here are ways you can fall forward, turning your slip into stepping stones to more transformation.  Tweet that.

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