You can’t get rid of darkness by raging against it; you must turn on the light. A bucket of dirty water doesn’t get clean by searching for every little piece of dirt, but a strong flow of fresh water will do it. Lies don’t give way without embracing a truer clearer story. Dealing with the bad stuff that’s keeping you stuck is important. But if you want to become whole, you must also let the light in and open yourself to taking in the good.

I’ve seen many people get stuck in ruminating on the bad stuff, bemoaning the trauma they’ve been through, endlessly analyzing their emotional struggles, and getting angry at people and God for not coming through for them. Your trauma matters! People have hurt you. There are broken places in your soul. It’s right and good to seek to understand and pursue ways of healing.

But it’s at least as if not more important to choose the good stuff you want to notice, embrace, and take into your being. Let’s look at that.

Dealing with the Bad Stuff

Our world and our lives have more than enough bad stuff. It’s possible to become so used to the turmoil, anger, trauma, loneliness, or grief that it no longer seems “bad;” it just seems normal. Sometimes I think God must want to take us by the shoulder, give us a shake, and exclaim “You don’t have to live like this!”

What are the lies you’ve come to believe, the wounds you’ve accumulated, and the empty places still unfilled in your soul? Some of that was not your fault! Stuff happened to you. AND, how are you responding now? It may not have been your fault to begin with, but it is your responsibility to address now. Are you still believing those lies? Using those wounds as an excuse? Trying to fill those empty places with junk food?

The journey to wholeness can seem long and hard, even overwhelming. It’s wise, even healthy, to move at the pace you can live with. What’s not OK is to ignore the problem, blame others, or give up. The process of transformation includes getting brutally honest.

And it also includes embracing deep compassion. That’s how Jesus sees you – with both honesty and compassion. That’s what provides the strength for you to do the necessary inner work to deal with the bad stuff and to then take in the good stuff.

Choosing Beauty

Choosing to let go of all that junk is absolutely necessary, but then what do you do to fill up those empty spaces? One important ingredient to pursue is beauty.

Think of it; God has lavished extravagant beauty on our world, even in places humans may never experience. Consider the glory of a sunrise, the power of ocean waves or a thunderstorm, the teaming life in a drop of pond water, the creativity and joy in a bird song, the tender yet powerful colors of flowers. For all the badness around us, the beauty still keeps coming.

Then there is beauty that humans create out of the raw materials in our beautiful world. Think of a cared-for garden, Beethoven’s 9^th symphony, a Monet or Rembrandt, The Lord of the Rings, or the Notre Dame cathedral.

As Christian psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson says, place yourself in the path of oncoming beauty. Get out in nature. Walk barefoot in the grass, smell a flower, look up at the stars at night. Visit the ocean or climb a mountain. Seek out some music, literature, or art not primarily for study, but to take it into your being. For me, one of these moments is taking the time to build a fire in my chiminea and letting the sound, smell, and warmth enter my soul. Beauty nourishes you.

Choosing Connection

I’ve probably heard every excuse ever made for remaining in isolation. Evil isolates. Don’t let evil win! If you want to get out of the clutches of bad stuff, it will be mandatory to do the sometimes hard work of connection. You were wounded in relationship and the only way you will find healing is in relationship also.

You have relationships now. Which one of them will you choose to go one level deeper with?

• If you are unable to leave your home, you can call someone on the phone. Just do it.
• There’s someone at church who is hurting; you can invite them to join you for coffee and find out more about each other’s lives.
• Stuck in an abusive marriage, or an overwhelmed single parent, or burned out from always helping others? There’s someone else in a similar situation. You can find them.
• Already in a small group, but it feels superficial and boring? You be the one to invite one of them, or the whole group, to go one level deeper.

Refuse to settle. You will only become more whole to the degree you find your people and do the hard work to stay connected. You will become more like the people you hang around. And that includes Jesus; if you hang around Him, you’ll become more like Him!

Choosing Action

When Jesus dealt with people it wasn’t, “Get yourself together; then we’ll talk.” His message was, “Come with Me!” Hanging around Jesus did shine the light on the places people needed to change, but more important, the goodness in Him just oozed out. Being immersed in the grace and truth of His very person couldn’t help but change people.

So what light will you allow to soak into your being?

• What beauty will you invite into your life and heart?
• What nourishing, inspiring, perspective-enlarging podcasts, books, or other uplifting media will you take in?
• Who are the people you will go one level deeper with in nourishing connection?
• What is one room in your heart and life that you’ve kept hidden that you will invite Jesus into?

Let the light in. Choose to take in the good stuff.

Your Turn: Have you gotten stuck in trying to deal with the bad stuff? What element of the good stuff will you next embrace into your life?  Leave a comment below.

Want more? On this week’s podcast I explore three things that need to be “burned up” in your life, and how that’s good news.  Listen or watch.

Tweetables: why not share this post?

• It’s easy to get focused on dealing with the bad stuff in your life. That matters. But you will only become healed and whole to the degree you then take in the good stuff. Here are some ways to let the light in. Tweet that.

Getting to the Matters of the Heart

The wounds, the unhealthy beliefs, the behavior patterns, the internal struggles, the spiritual oppression especially around intimacy, sex, and relationships – we can help with that.

Join us at an upcoming intensive – a beautiful 3-4 day premium experience that can change so much. Bring the hard places of your story into the light, and experience Jesus coming right into the middle of your story with healing, freedom, and transformation.