How to Write Your Story with God as Your Co-Author
You have a story. Perhaps you’ve made partial peace with some of the previous chapters of your story. But what…
transformation
Where Is God in Trauma? Jesus’ Message to Survivors
Trauma is a hot topic in culture today. Even if that word is perhaps overused, the statistics are clear; a…
How to Consecrate THAT Part of You to Jesus
Recently I mentioned a concept that got a lot of response; “consecrate that part of you to Jesus.” For whatever…
How to Experience Jesus’ Presence and Find Real Transformation
If you’re a parent, you know what this is like. Your little one is learning to sleep in their own…
Messed Up Again? Use Your Slip to Fall Forward
Jesus loves repeat sinners. (Are there any other kind?) It’s not that slips are OK; they’re not. But what do…
Being WITH Jesus in Ways that Bring Transformation
You’re sick and tired of trying harder and failing. It would be so freeing to be more like Jesus without…
The Lies, Wounds, and Empty Places that Messed You Up
The human heart is not a pretty place. At least not after living in this world for any length of…
How to Avoid Both Cheap Grace and Legalism
Does “Jesus loves you” mean you can get away with stuff? If not, who determines what’s OK and not OK?…
Your Story Holds the Key: Find Deeper Intimacy with Yourself, Others, and God
Oh, how good we are at hiding! Humans have been practicing hiding ever since the Garden of Eden, and we’ve…
Don’t Confuse Sex and Intimacy: How They’re Related – and Different
We use euphemisms all the time, especially around sex. I’ll spare you a list. But did you know the Bible…
Your Love Life Doesn’t Have to be a Fight (This is NOT About Marriage)
Maybe your marriage and your married sex life does seem like a fight. But that’s not what this article is…
Sex, Intimacy, and Relationships in Culture, the Church, and You
The topic is not a new one; it’s as old as human history. In many circles it’s not considered polite…
Overcome Your Complex Relationship with Sex, Intimacy, and God
Believe it or not, sex and all that comes with it affects you deeply. Your relationship with sex is complicated.…
A Gift For a King: Offering Jesus a Birthday Present
A few years ago a friend shared with me an important part of how she celebrates Christmas every year; she…
How to Make Your Time with God Meaningful, Long or Short
Are you satisfied with how your spiritual life is going? Are you more like Jesus than you were a year…
How to Find “Your People” When You Need Help
Isolation is dangerous. But connecting is often hard. In my work with people this is almost always the most challenging…
Trying to Stop Your Bad Behavior? Who Has Your Heart?
Ask ten people what sin is and you’re likely to hear about the ten commandments, the words God wrote with…
Deep Transformation: How to Become Different from the Inside Out
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. You’ve probably heard that before. But you may find yourself…
The Path to Making Your Heart Ready for Intimacy and Connection
You feel empty. Maybe you’re married, there’s little intimacy between you, and you blame your spouse. Or perhaps you want…
Why Doesn’t God Deliver Me From This Addiction?
Alcohol. Drugs. Sex. Porn. Gambling. Food. Video games. Nicotine. Social media. We could extend that list to any number of…
How Did We Get Here? Your Sexual Story Matters
When I talk with someone for the first time who’s asking for help I usually ask, “What’s your story? How…
Human Relationships: What People Can and Can’t Do For You
Loneliness is an epidemic. And it’s dangerous to your physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing. God Himself said that aloneness was…
How People Change: Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be
I’m so glad I’m not like I used to be! I was a seriously messed up young woman. But I’m…
How to Stand Firm and Overcome When Facing Spiritual Opposition
If all it took to experience wholeness were a few good facts in your left brain and a few pleasing…
From Hurt to Whole: The Power of Making the Choice to Heal
Time alone does not heal all wounds. Healing does not simply happen to you. God rarely “rains” healing down on…
From Temptation to Triumph: Designing Your Personal Escape Plan
Whatever your personal brand of “stuff,” especially sexual “stuff,” you can be sure you will be tempted again. The process…
How Your Sexual Story Affects Your Mental Health
We live in an epidemic of mental/emotional health issues. There are many factors involved, and it’s impossible to completely differentiate…
5 Ways Your Sexuality Impacts Your Spiritual Formation
You wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t believe God has something to say about sex and sexuality. Depending on…
Addressing Sin Issues in Others with Grace and Truth
We humans easily fall into ditches. Trying to be zealous for God’s way of righteousness, we fall into the truth…
Getting God from your Head to your Heart
Some of us (me included) naturally approach life first from the head. We studied hard in school, and when a…
Why Prayer is Not Enough: What to Do When You’re Still Struggling
For the follower of Jesus who is feeling close to Him, the words “prayer is not enough” may seem like…
What’s Unholy About Holy Week?
Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely love Holy Week; I just don’t love “Holy Week.” Perhaps as a shorthand way…
What’s Required for Healthy Sexual Discipleship?
A spouse feeling hurt and lonely because their partner seems uninterested in sexual intimacy. A young (or not-so-young) person heavy…
Three Steps to Becoming Whole After Being Sexually Harmed
Nobody wakes up one day and says, “Today I want to mess up.” You have a story. You came to…
Your Journey to Sexual Wholeness Will Be Opposed
I hear from people every day who are facing opposition on the journey to sexual wholeness. If all it took…
What’s Your Story – Your Sexual Story?
Yes, you have a sexual story. Some of that story may be good, even very good. But if “good” described…
Four Big Lies About Sex, Relationships, and Intimacy
Many of the best lies are almost true; they contain just enough truth to give them plausibility. Such a lie…
Who Do You Want to Become This Year?
Imagine it’s this time next year. What would you like to be true of you then? You could drift along…
What to Do About the Three Kinds of Suffering
You are suffering. Surprise! Welcome to the human race. And of course that’s not at all reassuring. Our culture trains…
Five Key Elements in the Process of Becoming Sexually Whole
Many of the people I talk with wish God would just “zap” them from their current state of misery and…
What Have You Done With Your Need for Intimacy?
For starters, intimacy is not sex. Our sexualized culture has mostly said “express yourself; anything goes.” But people are lonelier…
How You – and God – can Deal With Painful Regrets
Do you know anyone over 30 who has absolutely no regrets? I don’t. There’s stuff you experienced that you wish…
Boundaries and Freedom: Embracing What You Can and Can’t Do
You are not God. You are not all-powerful. Sometimes that’s a revelation; you are not the center of the universe.…
4 Reasons Everyone Should Have Close Friends, Married or Single
Every human being is made by God with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. And that need is real…
Does Sexual Sin Make You Disqualified? What’s Next?
The thief is always out to “steal, kill, and destroy,” (John 10:10), and sin is destructive. But sexual sin seems…
Dealing with Lust and Redeeming Eros
Desire is a good thing. As Christian psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson says, humans are people of desire. Jesus often asked,…
How’s Your Soul Doing, Really?
At breakfast with a friend recently I asked her, “How’s your soul doing?” That led to conversation about some really…
Tearing Down Inner Walls so you can Experience Intimacy
The idea of intimacy sounds nice, even important. But most people don’t think of it as absolutely necessary for life.…
Why It’s Not Really a Sex Problem
Behaviors matter. Behaviors have consequences. And sexual behaviors especially have consequences. But for those who are struggling here, putting your…
The 3 “C’s” of Growing in Sexual Wholeness
Time for a reality check. If you haven’t sensed it already you soon will; your growing in sexual wholeness (or…
