5 Ways to Pray When You Keep Messing Up
You mess up. You ask God for forgiveness. Thankfully you’re forgiven! Then you mess up again, and the cycle continues.…
emotions
Looking at Your Story Around Sex and Intimacy with Honesty and Compassion
Whenever I begin a relationship with a new coaching client I ask, “How did we get here? What’s your story?”…
Good News of Great Joy for All People
That’s what the angel said: “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that…
Praying Joy over Your Marriage at Christmas
“Joy to the world.” “Tidings of great joy.” Christmas is a season of joy. Or that’s the way it was…
How to Celebrate Christmas When Life is Hard – Anyway
You have problems, and it might seem impossible to truly celebrate Christmas when things are this hard. But I’m quite…
Different Year, Different Gratitude List
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Research continues to demonstrate that gratitude is good for you; it improves…
Three Keys to Dropping the Insanity in Your Marriage
Doing the same thing and expecting a different result; isn’t that the definition of insanity? You’re not a failure if…
How to Experience Getting Your Validation From God
From very soon after you were born you have been looking for validation. Do you see me? Am I OK?…
How to Experience God’s Presence in Your Past Trauma
We’ve all experienced “stuff.” No one comes through life unscathed. What’s in your bucket of stuff is different from what’s…
Your Life Through the Lens of the Need for Intimacy
God created you with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. What have you done with that need for intimacy?…
What’s Keeping You From Intimacy With Your Spouse?
You thought you wanted intimacy when you got married. But did you realize what kind of work it would take?…
5 Things You May Really Want When You Want Sex
You are more than a biological creature. You are an integrated whole–physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual. That’s why for human…
10 Scriptures for Overcoming Fear and Anxiety
You know the Bible says “Don’t be afraid.” But sometimes anxious thoughts and feelings seem to overtake your heart and…
God Has an Answer for Your Fear and Anxiety
You’ve prayed. Maybe you’ve fasted, and cried, and asked others to pray for you. But the swirling thoughts and anxious…
Your Brain CAN Change
When I went through medical school back in the “dark ages” we were told that 50% of what we learned…
How Managing Your Anxiety can Transform Your Marriage
You know you’re not at your best when you’re stressed out, anxious, or afraid. And your internal state doesn’t just…
How to Build a Life of Resilience Against Stress
Resilience allows a tree to bend in the wind instead of breaking. It’s what an athlete cultivates in order to…
Stressed or Anxious About Your Marriage?
“Well, YES!” That’s kind of a given, right? Marriage hooks you to another sinner physically, emotionally, financially, even spiritually. Your…
What do Unafraid, Worry-Free People Know that You Don’t?
You don’t want a completely stress-free life. Not really. But don’t some people seem to handle it better than others?…
NEW: Only Read if You’re Feeling Stressed or Anxious
You can ignore the rest of this message if: Your body, mind, and soul feel calm, connected, and Fully Alive…
10 Things You Can (and Can’t) Expect In A Good Marriage
With all the destructive marriages out there, is it any wonder many young people are having second thoughts about getting…
Deciding Whether to Leave or Not Leave Your Marriage
“Should I stay or should I go?” I hear that from married people all the time. Emotions, memories, trauma, disappointment,…
Planning Regular Housecleaning For Your Marriage
Your marriage accumulates debris. Life’s just like that. Even after you’ve dealt with the major trash from the past more…
Is Marriage Worth the Struggle?
Yesterday I had a long talk with a couple whose marriage almost ended. After some serious bad behavior they separated…
When Pain Makes it Feel Impossible to Connect with the Family of God
After being deeply hurt in church or experiencing spiritual abuse you want to hide. Your body and soul may recoil…
Good and Not so Good Reasons to Leave Your Church
Over the last few weeks I’ve heard from many of you who have experienced church hurt. Such wounds usually come…
Are Your Reasons for Marriage the Right Reasons?
Why did you get married in the first place, or why do you want to get married? And if you…
What to Do If “God” has Become a Bad Word for You
When you think of “God,” what is your internal experience? Are you afraid, wishing you could hide behind some fig…
Five Enemies of Your Marriage (Your Spouse is Not One of Them)
It’s no surprise that marriage is under assault. Younger marriages end when one or both feel unhappy or unfulfilled. Longer-term…
How to Become the Spouse God Needs You to Be in 2022
How would you grade your marriage today? There are few things that make a bigger impact on your sense of…
How to Build the Marriage You Desire in the New Year
There’s nothing magic about January 1. But there can be something almost magical about you making a decided change and…
5 Things to Do When the Holidays are Hard
Feeling ambivalent about the holidays is pretty normal. You’re “supposed” to enjoy this season of lights, music, giving, and family.…
Experience God Being With You This Advent Season
The season of Advent is here. For some this season brings joy, busyness, and countless activities connecting with family and…
2021: A Different Year, A Different Gratitude List
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. I love that it’s the least commercialized of the major holidays. If…
When You Need an Attitude Adjustment
A couple days ago I could feel the tension rising in my body. My mind was ruminating on all the…
How to Win When Your Spouse Triggers You
Something inside you goes off. Your spouse says something (or doesn’t), gives you a look, or acts a certain way,…
How to Criticize Your Spouse in the Way that Actually Works
Snide remarks. Eyerolls. Angry outbursts. Constant correction. Your spouse deserves that, right? After all, they’re messing up over and over…
How to Strengthen Your Marriage While Navigating Midlife
Midlife is a season of change. As a woman, you’re approaching or going through menopause and everything seems disrupted –…
You Don’t Need This if You’re Comfortable with Change
You can ignore the rest of this post if: Changes internally or externally don’t bother or disturb you at all…
Four Questions to Help Diagnose Your Painful Marriage
Where on the spectrum of happy-to-unhappy is your marriage? What’s really the problem, and how serious is it? How can…
Five Things Laughter Does for Your Marriage
Marriage can be hard. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Those statements are true, and a successful marriage requires…
What to do When Frustrated that Your Prayer Isn’t Working
As a Christian your head believes prayer works, and you might even try to “defend” God if someone tries to…
HELP! My Spouse Doesn’t Love Me Anymore!
You want to be loved. You need to be loved. You thrive when you’re loved and you wither when you’re…
HELP! I Don’t Love My Spouse Anymore
In today’s Western culture being married usually means you started out “in love.” In that condition it seems your brain…
When Sex Gets in the Way of Pursuing Intimacy
God created you with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. When you said “I do” you expected intimacy, including…
How to Deal with Doubt and Make the Choice to Believe
Is God real? Can He be trusted? Is He good? Is He for me? Where is God when it hurts?…
How to Build Connection Needed for Healthy Intimacy
God created you with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. But intimacy doesn’t just “happen” even if you and…
The Trust Required for Intimacy, and How to Build It
You expect to be able to trust your spouse. And that’s not an unreasonable expectation. But if your marriage is…
How to Build Safety in Your Marriage
You want intimacy. That’s why you got married! But intimacy doesn’t just happen; there are several necessary ingredients that must…
Uncovering the Heart of a Christian Woman
It’s never been easy to be a woman. Ever since the Garden of Eden the serpent has come against Eve…
