Boundaries and Freedom: Embracing What You Can and Can’t Do
You are not God. You are not all-powerful. Sometimes that’s a revelation; you are not the center of the universe.…
Christian Life
Three Characteristics of Toxic Religion
Do you ever get a queasy feeling when thinking about your church or ministry experiences? OK, you’re “supposed” to connect…
When God-Talk has Brought Pain to Your Sexuality
Love it or hate it, sex is a big deal. God cares about your sexuality, and the Bible has a…
4 Reasons Everyone Should Have Close Friends, Married or Single
Every human being is made by God with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. And that need is real…
3 Steps to Loving Others When They Don’t Love You
Every human being needs love. And sometimes we get love from others, and sometimes we don’t. In spite of that,…
When God Feels Distant: Nurturing Faith in the Absence of Answers
This world is messy and often confusing. How do you handle things when life is difficult? Sometimes you’re not seeing…
Powerful Keys to Stewarding Your Sexuality Well
You have gifts, good things you’ve been given that are valuable. How are you caring for – stewarding – those…
Does Sexual Sin Make You Disqualified? What’s Next?
The thief is always out to “steal, kill, and destroy,” (John 10:10), and sin is destructive. But sexual sin seems…
The Loneliness Epidemic Got You? How to Find Peace and Connection
You can feel lonely in a crowd or a friendship or a marriage, and you can feel perfectly happy and…
5 Wrong Assumptions About the Body, God, and Sexuality
Our assumptions color everything that comes after that. If your starting point is wrong, you’re going to be frustrated or…
Throwing Down the Idols of Marriage, Singleness, or Parenthood
Relationships are usually complicated. And the church has usually idolized one particular relationship status to the detriment of another. It’s…
Dealing with Lust and Redeeming Eros
Desire is a good thing. As Christian psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson says, humans are people of desire. Jesus often asked,…
How’s Your Soul Doing, Really?
At breakfast with a friend recently I asked her, “How’s your soul doing?” That led to conversation about some really…
Tearing Down Inner Walls so you can Experience Intimacy
The idea of intimacy sounds nice, even important. But most people don’t think of it as absolutely necessary for life.…
Why It’s Not Really a Sex Problem
Behaviors matter. Behaviors have consequences. And sexual behaviors especially have consequences. But for those who are struggling here, putting your…
The 3 “C’s” of Growing in Sexual Wholeness
Time for a reality check. If you haven’t sensed it already you soon will; your growing in sexual wholeness (or…
Being the Family of God Whether or Not You Have Earthly Family
Family. Love it, hate it. Want it, can’t stand it. Family is messy because family is made up of, well,…
What to Do When God’s “Truth” and Your Experience Collide
You “know” what’s right. Or you’re pretty sure you do. Then why does it feel so – wrong? Your head,…
How Your Relationship Status is Always Complicated
Perhaps the only good thing Facebook has ever done was to allow the relationship status “It’s Complicated.” And is there…
Why Healing from Intimacy Gone Wrong Requires Forgiveness
Forgiveness is a big deal. Your head knows Jesus forgives you, but your heart still wonders, especially when you keep…
How Sex Has Lost its Glory: Intimacy Gone Wrong
God created you for something good, a level of goodness we can only begin to imagine now. He built into…
5 Ways to Pray When You Keep Messing Up
You mess up. You ask God for forgiveness. Thankfully you’re forgiven! Then you mess up again, and the cycle continues.…
Beyond Bad Behavior: Get From Sobriety to Recovery to Redemption
Every addiction is a whole-person “disease.” The “thing” might be alcohol, pornography, sex, gambling, video games, or a multitude of…
When You’re Not Sure You Want to be (Sexually) Whole
Jesus asked a question we may sometimes think strange. He asked the man who had been lame for 38 years,…
Three Things to Do With Your Messy Sexual Story
Every single day, no exceptions, I hear from people struggling. Men and women, married and unmarried, young and old, from…
What Were You Even Created For?
If you woke up this morning feeling that everything in your world is better-than-good and you’re fully satisfied, this article…
Unpacking What You Learned About Relationships and Intimacy
Your brain is a sponge, not a source. You may believe you’ve come up with an original thought, but that’s…
Looking at Your Story Around Sex and Intimacy with Honesty and Compassion
Whenever I begin a relationship with a new coaching client I ask, “How did we get here? What’s your story?”…
Disentangling the Connection Between Sex and Intimacy
We use euphemisms all the time, especially around sex. I’ll spare you a list. But did you know the Bible…
When Nothing You’re Doing Makes You Satisfied
I would add something to one of the lists in Proverbs: “Three things are never satisfied; four never say, “Enough”:…
What You Can and Can’t Expect Church to Do for You
Church was Jesus’ idea. I pray your experience of church has been, is now, and will continue to be wonderful.…
The Lifeline You Need to Grow and Thrive
You are not the source. You can’t be; you’re a creature, a created being. You cannot generate life from within…
Practical Ways to Pursue Intimacy with God
God wants to be wanted. Isn’t that like you? Don’t you want to be wanted? What if your desire for…
The One Most Important Goal to Pursue This Year
Goals, resolutions, commitments, decisions, turning over a new leaf, a blank page – you may have a love-hate relationship with…
Good News of Great Joy for All People
That’s what the angel said: “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that…
How to Celebrate Christmas When Life is Hard – Anyway
You have problems, and it might seem impossible to truly celebrate Christmas when things are this hard. But I’m quite…
My Favorite Recommendations for 2022
Each December I love sharing with you some of my favorite things – books, podcasts, and organizations I’ve enjoyed reading,…
How to Plan Your Way Through the Holiday Blues
I love the Christmas season, but it hasn’t always been that way. Some Christmases have been really really hard. I…
Different Year, Different Gratitude List
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. Research continues to demonstrate that gratitude is good for you; it improves…
Why You’re Frustrated with One Encounter with Jesus
Most of us want the pill, not the journey. We want the magic formula to comfort and success, three easy…
How to Experience Getting Your Validation From God
From very soon after you were born you have been looking for validation. Do you see me? Am I OK?…
How to Experience God in Your Tomorrow: a Theology of Hope
Consider what you’re anxious about. Your logical left brain may say, “I’m not anxious! I just want to be prudent.”…
How to Experience God’s Presence in Your Past Trauma
We’ve all experienced “stuff.” No one comes through life unscathed. What’s in your bucket of stuff is different from what’s…
What Your Need for Intimacy Tells You About God’s Plan
Personal relationships. Intimacy. Sex and sexuality. What first comes to mind when you hear those phrases? It might be privacy…
Answering Your Questions About Relationships
There’s little, if anything, that makes a bigger difference in your sense of wellbeing than the quality of your closest…
Fully Alive Marriage: It’s Not What You Think
If you’re single, perhaps you imagine a Fully Alive marriage as one where your spouse anticipates your needs and fulfills…
Your Life Through the Lens of the Need for Intimacy
God created you with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. What have you done with that need for intimacy?…
Why God Created You for Intimacy
There’s something in the human heart that craves connection. We sense, perhaps unconsciously, that we are created for intimacy. That…
From Genesis to Revelation: The Greatest Love Story Ever
Don’t you love a great love story? There’s always a hero, a heroine, and a villain. The questions keep us…
3 Paradoxes We Experience in the Kingdom of God
Things are not always as they appear, especially in the kingdom of God. The carpenter’s son is truthfully the Son…
