Three Things You Need to Recover from Church Hurt
“Raise your hand if you have not been hurt in church.” Just this week I heard a friend of mine…
Emotional and Mental Health
What to Do If “God” has Become a Bad Word for You
When you think of “God,” what is your internal experience? Are you afraid, wishing you could hide behind some fig…
How to Build the Marriage You Desire in the New Year
There’s nothing magic about January 1. But there can be something almost magical about you making a decided change and…
5 Things to Do When the Holidays are Hard
Feeling ambivalent about the holidays is pretty normal. You’re “supposed” to enjoy this season of lights, music, giving, and family.…
The Gift Your Spouse Really Wants (But Won’t Ask For)
Whether you’ve been married six months or sixty years, coming up with a Christmas present for your spouse can present…
2021: A Different Year, A Different Gratitude List
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. I love that it’s the least commercialized of the major holidays. If…
When You Need an Attitude Adjustment
A couple days ago I could feel the tension rising in my body. My mind was ruminating on all the…
How to Win When Your Spouse Triggers You
Something inside you goes off. Your spouse says something (or doesn’t), gives you a look, or acts a certain way,…
How I’m Wrestling with Feeling Angry About Marriage
I’m angry. And I’m wrestling with what Paul says; “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun…
Seven Things I Do Every Day: Navigating My Midlife Lifestyle
For all you women out there trying to navigate your menopause and midlife season, I see you. I get you.…
What Has God Given You Executive Authority Over?
God is in control. How many times have you heard that? Said that? And of course it’s true! But the…
What Life do You Want Five Years from Now?
We’ve all heard stories of people lost at sea, left to the mercy of the currents. While there’s a remote…
You Don’t Need This if You’re Comfortable with Change
You can ignore the rest of this post if: Changes internally or externally don’t bother or disturb you at all…
The Dangers of Rule-Based Christianity
Rule-based Christianity is dangerous. Doubt that? Surely at some point you’ve had a parent or teacher or boss or leader…
Four Questions to Help Diagnose Your Painful Marriage
Where on the spectrum of happy-to-unhappy is your marriage? What’s really the problem, and how serious is it? How can…
Five Things Laughter Does for Your Marriage
Marriage can be hard. Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. Those statements are true, and a successful marriage requires…
What to do When Frustrated that Your Prayer Isn’t Working
As a Christian your head believes prayer works, and you might even try to “defend” God if someone tries to…
Seven Discussion Questions that will Improve Your Intimacy
Communication between you and your spouse can get stale if you don’t have a plan. You coordinate schedules, talk about…
Why Your Mental Image of God Matters So Much
What is it you love about your best friend? Why did you pick your spouse? That may be complicated, but…
HELP! My Spouse Doesn’t Love Me Anymore!
You want to be loved. You need to be loved. You thrive when you’re loved and you wither when you’re…
Is It Gossip, Loyalty, Cover-up, or Getting Help?
Should you tell? Does keeping it hidden mean you’re being loyal – to the family? To the church? Does telling…
How to Build Safety in Your Marriage
You want intimacy. That’s why you got married! But intimacy doesn’t just happen; there are several necessary ingredients that must…
Want Intimacy? You Need Honesty as a Foundation
God created you with the need, desire, and capacity for intimacy. That’s a core part of what you were looking…
Uncovering the Heart of a Christian Woman
It’s never been easy to be a woman. Ever since the Garden of Eden the serpent has come against Eve…
Submission in Christian Marriage
Hear the word “submission” and “marriage” in the same sentence and you may be gripped by the sudden urge to…
Uncovering the Heart of a Christian Man
It may be somewhat dangerous to write specifically to men. I’m not a man, and I speak carefully. Some things…
How to “Forget the Past” When it Haunts You
You’ve messed up. Perhaps you’ve messed up a lot over a long period of time. You’d like things to be…
Rebuilding Your Marriage After Traumatizing Sex
God intended married sex to be life-giving – mutual, satisfying, exciting, comforting, bonding, nourishing, joyful. Evil has so hijacked sex,…
To the Wife Traumatized by Married Sex
Just because sex happens within marriage doesn’t always mean it’s good. God designed sex to be a beautiful life-giving nurturing…
What Makes God Angry: It’s Not What You Think
I’ve sensed God’s anger. And it’s one of the most empowering, refreshing, encouraging parts of my recent walk with God.…
Recovering from Spiritual Abuse
When you’ve been harmed in the name of God, the path to wholeness is long and slow. Last time we…
When You’ve Been Harmed in the Name of God
It’s not just a salacious news article or one more statistic when it’s happened to you. When “God” is used…
Caring for Your Heart When Your Spouse Won’t Connect
You were created for intimacy. You probably got married expecting that doing so would fulfill your needs for connection, love,…
Overcoming the Fear of Dealing with Your Sexual Stuff
There are good reasons for you to hold back. Fear is a big part of why you keep hiding. Getting…
Sex Before Marriage: What I Did Right – And Wrong
I did it right. I made it. I didn’t have sex before marriage. And it was a long wait, too.…
Uprooting Why You Feel Unhappy in Your Marriage
Every marriage has challenges. It wouldn’t make sense to expect the union of two different human beings to proceed without…
How Detachment from your Spouse Makes Your Marriage Better
As with everything good that God created, the enemy has marred and distorted God’s statement, “they shall become one flesh.”…
How to Stay Resilient During a Blue Holiday Season
Holidays are supposed to be “happy and bright,” right? But every year I hear from people for whom the holiday…
How to Choose to Be Thankful Anyway
Today is Thanksgiving Day in the United States. I love this day. Without the commercialization of most other holidays, we…
How to be Grateful For Your Messy Marriage
This week we celebrate Thanksgiving Day in the United States. The challenges presented by the COVID-19 pandemic, racial and political…
How to Fight the Sense of Powerlessness in Your Marriage
There’s little that impacts your wellbeing more than the quality of your closest personal relationships. Your marriage in particular, as…
How to Fight FOR Your Marriage Not AGAINST Your Spouse
Your marriage is important. It means everything to you. Anything that important requires investment of time and energy. But the…
Why Not Every Marriage Can be Saved
Yes, God does miracles! He can and does transform the most destructive and hurtful marriages into shining demonstrations of His…
Do This, Not That: 5 Attitudes for a Better Marriage
Attitudes color everything. Attitudes develop usually without you realizing it. Some attitudes you brought to your marriage and some you…
Dealing with Triggers in your Marriage
The only people who don’t get triggered are those who are perfectly healed and completely mature. And neither you nor…
Are You Hoping or Doing for Your Breakthrough?
When you feel stuck and little seems to change, humans tend to fall into one of two ditches. Some people…
How to Keep Intimacy Alive After Fifty
The stereotype of an exciting sex life during the early years of marriage that simply disappears as you age is…
Living Well through Long-term Trauma
Things are not as we want them to be. They are not as God wants them to be. For the…
5 Things a Wife Can Do for a Better Sex Life
What happens in your soul when you hear “better sex life”? For some women you’d like to shout, “better would…
5 Things a Husband Can Do for a Better Sex Life
Most men want sex. And for the many men who would like a better sex life with their wives, it…
