5 Regrets You Can Completely Prevent
It’s a blessed person indeed who can look back at his or her life without regrets. Very few, if any,…
relationships
The ONE Thing Guaranteed To Destroy Your Marriage
It’s not sex, or lack thereof. It’s not fights over money or in-laws. It’s not personality conflicts or differing expectations…
Five Do’s and Don’ts for Singles
It’s not easy being single. Loneliness can make you vulnerable. If you do want a relationship, your efforts to develop…
5 Ways To Connect With Your Husband
You wake up one day and realize you don’t feel like a wife at all. You feel more like a…
How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse
I love board meetings. Really. I do! Because that’s how we communicate better. But these are not your normal board…
2 Attitudes About People That Will Make You Miserable
In a classic Peanuts cartoon Linus wants to be a doctor. The always negative Lucy says he could never be…
What Is A Christian Marriage?
What makes a marriage Christian? Is every good marriage a Christian marriage? Is every Christian marriage a good marriage? Ask…
7 Secrets To Improved Sexual Intimacy With Your Spouse
You’re married, but there’s not much fireworks between you any longer. Things are more than a little dry and stale,…
Does Your Husband Have To Earn Your Respect?
You’ve heard that men live on respect. But when do you give respect? Do you wait until he does something…
7 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Being Sexual
As a woman, you probably know (or at least think you know) that most men want sex. A lot of…
How to Bring God Into Your Marriage Bedroom
God invented marriage, God invented sex, and He called them “good”. The logical part of your left brain may believe…
Five Kinds of People Jesus Spent Time With
Jesus didn’t like everybody.
He loved everyone. He still loves everyone. But while He was here on earth, Jesus definitely had favorites. There were people He loved to be around, and people He avoided.
Here are the kinds of people Jesus spent most of His time with:
What Does The Bible Say To A Man Whose Wife Doesn’t Want Sex
You can struggle greatly when your wife does not or cannot respond to you sexually. It’s a little ironic: here I am a woman, talking to men about sex. That’s because I’ve been asked about this specific question more than once, and this post is my answer. You may be struggling with this in your marriage and have told no one. I hope this helps you in some way.
The One Thing That Will Make You IRRESISTIBLE To Your Wife
You don’t want to look outside the marriage for satisfaction, but sometimes you’re not sure how much longer you can put up with things the way they are.
But you won her heart once. Wouldn’t you like to do it again? Wouldn’t you like to be her Knight in Shining Armor? Wouldn’t you like for her to look at you the way she did when you first said, “I DO?”
Sure, you want her. You want the physical connection of sex. You want to feel like a man. But you also want more than that. You want her to want you!
24 Things Your Spouse May Be Feeling When They Seem Upset With You
Your husband is giving you the silent treatment. You immediately think he’s angry with you, and you want to call him on it. You feel yourself getting angry in return. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
Your wife is irritable and distracted, and hasn’t taken care of what you asked her to do today. You’re frustrated, and want to lash out at her. “Why can’t you take care of something so simple?”
How To Talk To Your Spouse About Sex
Sex can become one of the most contentious and painful aspects of a marriage. Or it can be one of the most affirming and bonding parts of your relationship. One of the best way to move sex from something you avoid to something you anticipate is through talking about it.
Do’s and Don’ts For When Your Spouse Is Depressed
God’s plan for marriage is that husband and wife be a support to each other in good times and in bad. When your spouse is struggling with depression you will likely need to draw on the full range of physical, emotional, and spiritual coping strategies in order to do so.
A few things to do and not to do that will help you remain sane, strong, and supportive:
What To Do When Your Husband Wants Sex and You Don’t
I’m going to assume for a moment that you have a genuinely good man for a husband, not perfect, but one who truly wants to be good to you. You recognize that sex together as husband and wife is important to him, and you’d like to handle it better. Here are some things you can do.
15 Ways To Help Someone Who’s Having A Bad Day
Having a bad day yourself is bad enough. But when your friend, spouse, child, or someone else close to you is having a bad day, that can almost be harder.
How can you help when someone is having a bad day? Your loved one will not appreciate it if you ignore them, pretend everything is OK, or get angry or upset yourself.
Here are some possible things you can do that WILL help:
How To Deal With Difficult People
Some people are impossibly difficult. At least for you. You can’t stand being around them. Every time you have to deal with them, you have a bad day.
If you’re a Christian, you may wonder what’s wrong with your spirituality when trying to deal with someone you can’t stand. Aren’t you supposed to love them? Isn’t that what Jesus would do?
10 Mistakes To Avoid In Looking For A Husband
Looking for a husband? So was I.
And then I gave up. And it’s probably the best thing I ever did.
I’d like to look at it from the other side. Sadly, if you are looking for Mr Right there are a number of married women who would be glad to give him to you! Learning from mistakes others have made may save you a lot of heartache. (And in a moment, I’ll also share two things you SHOULD do.)
How God Can Heal Your Lonely Heart
You’re single, with no good prospects in sight. You’re lonely, and you want to do things God’s way. You long for someone to love, and to love you. So why isn’t God coming through with a spouse for you?
You’ve heard people talk about God meeting your heart’s needs, and intellectually you believe He can. But you’re lonely. Right now you want a God with “skin on.”
Where Are YOU Looking For Love?
If you’re a single person, you’ve certainly been asked the question, How’s your love life?
As for the single life, I know what that’s like. During much of my single years I was decidedly unhappy about being single, and felt terribly lonely. But I did learn a lot. And I’d like to share two of those things with you.
God Has NO Perfect Soul-Mate For You
Don’t go looking for a perfect soul-mate. News flash: there aren’t any! And if there were a perfect soul-mate out there somewhere, you wouldn’t be eligible to develop a relationship with them. Because YOU are not perfect!
So let’s get rid of the idea that there is one perfect soul-mate out there for you, and you will only be happy when you find that person. That idea will make you sorely unhappy!
2 Questions to Help You Decide If Your Marriage Is Too Destructive To Save
If you’re wrestling with a painful or destructive marriage, you know all too well the frustration, tears, and loneliness involved. You know the feelings of powerlessness, shame, sadness, disappointment, or guilt. You may have prayed, cried, and done all you know, and are only left with weariness and hopelessness.
There are two things I know for sure:
The Second Thing to Learn In Marriage
EVERY couple will face conflict. The question is not IF you will face conflict, but rather HOW you manage conflicts when they arise. Handling conflict in marriage is a learned skill: no one knows how to do it automatically, but anyone can get better at it.
Don’t be surprised when you and your spouse see things differently: after all, if you were both the same, one of you would be unnecessary! What’s important is what you do then.
Here are five important steps to learn:
The First Thing to Learn In Marriage
Each person comes to marriage with different expectations of what life will be like.
Your expectations of marriage ARE different than your spouse’s. Even if you communicate well before getting married, the realities of life together WILL challenge those expectations.
And you WILL be disappointed.
5 Ways To Be A Woman Nobody Can Live With
I know two women quite well who nobody can live with – at least and stay sane. You probably know one or more also. I just hope you aren’t trying to live with one!
If you want to be someone nobody can live with, here’s how:
10 Things I Learned in 5 Years of Marriage
My husband Al and I recently celebrated our five-year anniversary. It’s been a wonderful five years, and I would say “I do” all over again knowing what I know now. God has blessed us with a very happy relationship.
But that doesn’t mean these past five years have been trouble-free. And it’s some of those challenges that have led to the closeness we increasingly share.
Here are some things I have learned during these five years, some of them expected and some unexpected:
When to NOT Discuss Things With Your Spouse
You are supposed to communicate together as husband and wife. And that’s a good thing. But there is a difference between communicating and dumping.
However, some women (and a few men) use the principle of communication to unload on their spouse. That may place a burden on your spouse that is not their place to carry.
Communication lets your spouse see and touch the difficult things in your heart. Dumping tries to force your spouse to carry what is yours to own.
5 Pieces of Smart Marriage Advice
The institution of marriage goes back to the Garden of Eden. But sadly the state of many marriages today is anything but Eden-like! For those who are married, there is probably no other area of life that has a bigger impact on your well-being than the state of your marriage.
There are many bits of advice for those wanting a better, healthier, happier marriage. Here are five I believe to be especially important:
Why You Are Afraid of Intimacy
Buried somewhere in your soul beneath the bravado, the anger, the pasty smile, or the hopelessness, there’s a desire to be known. Truly known, intimately, for who you really are.
God created us for relationship. Close, personal, intimate relationship. When that is lacking you feel incomplete, undone, like something is missing.
How A Christian Faces Trouble and Tragedy
We live in a world where there is no shortage of trouble. And that trouble often presents a great challenge to our faith.
Perhaps it’s a natural disaster. Then there is the almost unspeakable violence both near and far. Or perhaps it is your own private trauma. When trouble happens, it’s normal to ask questions: Why me?
In the face of unexpected tragedy, the challenge to faith is real. When trouble comes, here are three things to do:
How To Influence Others for Christ Without Being Harmed
The people you hang out with have a big impact on your character. Values, attitudes, beliefs, habits – they are all very contagious! You may not even notice subtle changes in your own soul until you have changed more than you wish.
But didn’t Jesus call His followers salt and light? How can you influence others for His Kingdom if you’re not around them? You must get out of the saltshaker if your saltiness is to flavor anything.
How can you deal with this seeming conflict? How can you influence others positively without being corrupted yourself?
6 Things That Wear You Out That You Can Stop Doing
If you spend your time and energy trying to do something you can’t do, you’ll only experience frustration, fatigue, and failure. How much better to understand where you can make a difference, and where your efforts are useless. Then you can spend your valuable time and energy in the right place.
Here are six things you might as well stop doing. All your time and effort will just be wasted:
25 Small Things That Make A Difference
Small changes in direction may make a huge difference in your destination. You know that. But it’s easy to fall into a routine and end up some place you would rather not be.
So many areas in life follow this principle. Here are some things where very small actions may make a huge difference down the road:
7 Things Healthy Sexuality Is For Married Couples
Several studies indicate that on average married people have sex more often, enjoy more varied sex, and are more satisfied with their sex lives than single people. And those with a single sexual partner in the past year report the most happiness in general.
For any marriage to work, both husband and wife must be more focused on meeting each other’s needs than getting their own needs met. It takes a lot of forgiveness, flexibility, and unconditional love to make a marriage last.
Nowhere are these characteristics more important than in a couple’s sexual relationship. Here’s how healthy sexuality looks for a married couple when it’s working well:
When You Are Disappointed in Your Marriage
You expect certain things of your spouse. But sometimes you want more. You believe your spouse loves you, but it’s not enough. You crave something you’re not getting. You want adventure, intimacy, emotional connection, time, trust, help around the house, more money, children, support, more sex – something more.
The only way to keep “wanting more” from coming between you and your spouse is to address the problem head on. If you feel you want more than you are getting from your spouse, here are the steps you can take:
10 Things To Look For In Your Friends
The people you align yourself with will determine your future, good or bad.
It’s important who your friends are. You become increasingly like the people you hang out with. Your attitudes, behaviors, and values naturally move closer to those of the people around you. It’s possible to know much about your future by looking at your friends.
Single: When You Live Alone
The rates of marriage may be going down in our society. But for most, you expect to grow up, find a man or woman to join your life with, create a family, and live happily ever after. Your mental life plan, conscious or unconscious, probably did not include being single.
At least for some, marriage will never happen. And then the truth is that marriage is temporary. Every marriage has an end. Your spouse dies, or your marriage ends in divorce, and you face being single again. Whether never married or newly single, the single life has special challenges.
Being single is not just a prelude to being married. Go ahead and enjoy life, and take God with you on the journey.
5 Ways Being Single Helped Me Be Happily Married
I had given up on marriage. It just wasn’t for me. It’s not that I didn’t want to be married: I had hoped and prayed for years. By the time I was in my early forties I had come to terms with the fact that I would always be single.
Then God brought a wonderful man into my life. During my single years I learned a lot. It was that kind of growing up that has allowed me to be so happily married now.
Getting Your Spouse To Change
Marriage is risky! Expecting or demanding change from your spouse is likely to result in profound disappointment. Getting your spouse to change is very much like God’s work to change you and me.
Should I Use Birth Control? A Christian Doctor’s Answer
When I think of contraception, a number of images come to mind. Talking about contraception is often an emotionally charged issue. The debate really has nothing to do with birth control. The debate has to do with sex.
If you’ve read this far, you want to know how I deal with these issues, and what I tell patients. As a Christian, as a gynecologist, as a minister, what’s the RIGHT thing to do?
5 Steps to a Fair Fight in Marriage
Two very different people get married and plan to “do life together” for the rest of their lives. Is it any wonder there are differences, even conflicts?
The more important thing is what you do when those differences arise. Fighting fair is a skill married couples need to practice, and one that some find difficult to learn.
In a fair fight, there are a few things to keep in mind:
2 Lessons to Guarantee You Will Have a Positive Impact
Part of you really wants to make a difference. You want your life to count for something. But how do you do that? In the middle of a busy life it can seem like most of what you do is fruitless.
So here are the two lessons that will guarantee you will have a positive impact on those who come after you:
7 Things I Would Say To You As My Patient
You’re tired, you don’t feel well, and you want some help. You come to see me in my office, hoping I will have an answer.
How I wish I could fulfill your hopes! I wish I could fix you. That would make your life, and mine, so much easier. Most of the time it’s a matter of you and me figuring things out together. Here are a few things I’d like to tell you:
What A Difference A Father Makes
We just passed Father’s Day. Many of you celebrated the memory or presence of a father who passed on a godly heritage, important values, and a readiness to take life on. Others of you were not celebrating: your earthly father was either absent, uninvolved, or abusive. One thing we all agree on – a father makes a difference!
Sleep – Good for Your Body, Mind, and Soul
I’ve never especially liked going to bed. There’s so much to do.
We all know that our human bodies need sleep and rest. But that’s not all. Your mind, emotions, ability to handle stress, and how you relate to your children, spouse, God, and others are all affected.
Do’s and Don’ts for Husbands on Making God First
I don’t presume to understand all the ways God works in your male hearts.
But I do know some of the things women feel when men use spirituality to crush them, ignore them, control them, or put them down. Your wife is a treasure from God. If you want your own prayers to be answered, treat her with the same loving care with which Christ loved – and loves – the church.
A few do’s and don’ts to put things in perspective:
Do’s and Don’ts for Wives on Making God First
A young wife asked me, “How can I respect and love my husband while making God first? Isn’t my husband supposed to be Number 1 to me? But then does that mean I’m not honoring God? I’m confused.”
God never intended this to be confusing. He intended the Christian life to bring husband and wife closer together, not drive them apart. A few do’s and don’ts that may help:
