7 Ways to Help Your Marriage Thrive When One Spouse is Sick
Remember your vows? “In sickness and in health, ‘till death do us part.” Your marriage vows probably said something similar.…
family
What I Wish Christian Parents Would Teach Kids About Sex
At 15 years old she was scared. Her mother sat there silent. I confirmed that Angela (not her real name)…
How to Help Your Spouse Feel Secure
Security is about much more than money. Of course it’s nice to have a steady income, safe home, and adequate…
Reasons to Have a Baby for Christians
Some couples assume that having children is just something you do when you get married, and don’t give much thought…
What to Do When Your Spouse Won’t Change
It’s frustrating with your spouse won’t change. Your husband left his dirty socks strewn on the bedroom floor. Again. Your…
What I Want for Valentine’s Day
My husband gets these posts in his email inbox. I’m sure when he sees the title of this one he’ll…
Who Will Be Around You On Your Deathbed?
No one wants to die alone. It may feel a bit morbid, but thinking about your last earthly days is…
How to Study Your Spouse
One of the two best pieces of advice I heard prior to getting married was this: Study Your Spouse! I…
How to Not Hurt Your Husband when You Earn More Money
It’s not the fifties any longer. Only a small minority of families fit the classic pattern where dad goes off…
5 Ways to Deal With Difficult People
Into every life some difficult people must come. These are the people who make you feel small, stupid, and powerless.…
7 Ways Your Wife Needs You
Both husbands and wives need each other. As a husband, when you first fell in love you probably felt like…
Marriage Under Pressure: Staying Intact Through Difficult Times
Every marriage faces times under pressure. Sometimes you overschedule your time or money, and the pressure builds. Sometimes an unexpected…
What The Bible Says To Those Struggling With Infertility
There is probably no place in modern medicine where ethics, morality, and science collide with a more resounding crash than…
5 Ways To Connect With Your Husband
You wake up one day and realize you don’t feel like a wife at all. You feel more like a…
How To Communicate Better With Your Spouse
I love board meetings. Really. I do! Because that’s how we communicate better. But these are not your normal board…
What Is A Christian Marriage?
What makes a marriage Christian? Is every good marriage a Christian marriage? Is every Christian marriage a good marriage? Ask…
Does Your Husband Have To Earn Your Respect?
You’ve heard that men live on respect. But when do you give respect? Do you wait until he does something…
7 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Being Sexual
As a woman, you probably know (or at least think you know) that most men want sex. A lot of…
How to Bring God Into Your Marriage Bedroom
God invented marriage, God invented sex, and He called them “good”. The logical part of your left brain may believe…
7 Things To Do If You Want Your Husband To Be The Spiritual Head Of The House
Many Christian women complain that their husbands are not fulfilling their godly duty by being the spiritual head of the house. They envy women whose husbands who seem to be more spiritual. Their disappointment can become a source of conflict, anger, and emotional separation in the marriage.
24 Things Your Spouse May Be Feeling When They Seem Upset With You
Your husband is giving you the silent treatment. You immediately think he’s angry with you, and you want to call him on it. You feel yourself getting angry in return. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
Your wife is irritable and distracted, and hasn’t taken care of what you asked her to do today. You’re frustrated, and want to lash out at her. “Why can’t you take care of something so simple?”
Do’s and Don’ts For When Your Spouse Is Depressed
God’s plan for marriage is that husband and wife be a support to each other in good times and in bad. When your spouse is struggling with depression you will likely need to draw on the full range of physical, emotional, and spiritual coping strategies in order to do so.
A few things to do and not to do that will help you remain sane, strong, and supportive:
15 Ways To Help Someone Who’s Having A Bad Day
Having a bad day yourself is bad enough. But when your friend, spouse, child, or someone else close to you is having a bad day, that can almost be harder.
How can you help when someone is having a bad day? Your loved one will not appreciate it if you ignore them, pretend everything is OK, or get angry or upset yourself.
Here are some possible things you can do that WILL help:
10 Mistakes To Avoid In Looking For A Husband
Looking for a husband? So was I.
And then I gave up. And it’s probably the best thing I ever did.
I’d like to look at it from the other side. Sadly, if you are looking for Mr Right there are a number of married women who would be glad to give him to you! Learning from mistakes others have made may save you a lot of heartache. (And in a moment, I’ll also share two things you SHOULD do.)
God Has NO Perfect Soul-Mate For You
Don’t go looking for a perfect soul-mate. News flash: there aren’t any! And if there were a perfect soul-mate out there somewhere, you wouldn’t be eligible to develop a relationship with them. Because YOU are not perfect!
So let’s get rid of the idea that there is one perfect soul-mate out there for you, and you will only be happy when you find that person. That idea will make you sorely unhappy!
5 Ways to Get Through the Holiday Season Happier and Healthier
Too much food. Too much stress. Too much spending. Too much drinking. Too much unhappy family time. No wonder many people start the new year heavier, unhappy, and in more debt.
There’s no holiday magic that gives you a free pass on what it takes to be healthy physically or mentally. The principles of healthy living apply during the next six weeks just as they do the rest of the year. It’s not too late to plan some better strategies.
When You Dread the Holidays
I have a friend who dreads this time of year. Come each November 15, he wishes he could fast-forward to January 2. The stress, the rush, the shopping, the expectations – he hates it all. And most of all, he hates being lonely.
There are a number of reasons why you might not look forward to Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s. Holidays make our normal vulnerabilities more apparent.
If that’s you, there’s one important thing you must do this holiday season.
10 Things I Learned in 5 Years of Marriage
My husband Al and I recently celebrated our five-year anniversary. It’s been a wonderful five years, and I would say “I do” all over again knowing what I know now. God has blessed us with a very happy relationship.
But that doesn’t mean these past five years have been trouble-free. And it’s some of those challenges that have led to the closeness we increasingly share.
Here are some things I have learned during these five years, some of them expected and some unexpected:
5 Pieces of Smart Marriage Advice
The institution of marriage goes back to the Garden of Eden. But sadly the state of many marriages today is anything but Eden-like! For those who are married, there is probably no other area of life that has a bigger impact on your well-being than the state of your marriage.
There are many bits of advice for those wanting a better, healthier, happier marriage. Here are five I believe to be especially important:
6 Things That Wear You Out That You Can Stop Doing
If you spend your time and energy trying to do something you can’t do, you’ll only experience frustration, fatigue, and failure. How much better to understand where you can make a difference, and where your efforts are useless. Then you can spend your valuable time and energy in the right place.
Here are six things you might as well stop doing. All your time and effort will just be wasted:
When You Are Disappointed in Your Marriage
You expect certain things of your spouse. But sometimes you want more. You believe your spouse loves you, but it’s not enough. You crave something you’re not getting. You want adventure, intimacy, emotional connection, time, trust, help around the house, more money, children, support, more sex – something more.
The only way to keep “wanting more” from coming between you and your spouse is to address the problem head on. If you feel you want more than you are getting from your spouse, here are the steps you can take:
5 Ways Being Single Helped Me Be Happily Married
I had given up on marriage. It just wasn’t for me. It’s not that I didn’t want to be married: I had hoped and prayed for years. By the time I was in my early forties I had come to terms with the fact that I would always be single.
Then God brought a wonderful man into my life. During my single years I learned a lot. It was that kind of growing up that has allowed me to be so happily married now.
When Arms Are Empty: Infertility
There’s something intimate and beautiful about new parents holding their newborn baby in their arms. But sadly, many couples do not have an opportunity to experience that joy, and do not have a baby to hold in their arms.
As a Reproductive Endocrinologist I’ve seen couples struggle with these issues, and have seen the stress it puts on their relationship. Helping couples experience that miracle is a privilege I enjoy. And my hope and prayer is that you can experience that miracle when you so desire.
Should I Use Birth Control? A Christian Doctor’s Answer
When I think of contraception, a number of images come to mind. Talking about contraception is often an emotionally charged issue. The debate really has nothing to do with birth control. The debate has to do with sex.
If you’ve read this far, you want to know how I deal with these issues, and what I tell patients. As a Christian, as a gynecologist, as a minister, what’s the RIGHT thing to do?
5 Steps to a Fair Fight in Marriage
Two very different people get married and plan to “do life together” for the rest of their lives. Is it any wonder there are differences, even conflicts?
The more important thing is what you do when those differences arise. Fighting fair is a skill married couples need to practice, and one that some find difficult to learn.
In a fair fight, there are a few things to keep in mind:
What It Means To Be A Man
I’m a woman, and I’m talking to men about men. Sure, that’s a little dangerous, but here’s my perspective.
Men have challenges to face that our modern society perhaps makes even harder. Today’s jobs and today’s families often give men the message that they are unnecessary. And perhaps the church can be especially faulted for making a goal out of becoming a “Mr Nice Guy!”
But I believe that God created men the way they are on purpose.
What A Difference A Father Makes
We just passed Father’s Day. Many of you celebrated the memory or presence of a father who passed on a godly heritage, important values, and a readiness to take life on. Others of you were not celebrating: your earthly father was either absent, uninvolved, or abusive. One thing we all agree on – a father makes a difference!
Growing Up Without Regrets
Growing up has never been easy. But in today’s culture young people have more challenges to face than ever before, especially in the area of sexuality. The basic issues may be no different, but the speed of life and the multiple pressures teens face make the risks even greater.
A few sobering statistics:
Interruptions ARE Your Job
Look for the interruptions: they are your job security!
If you work with people in any capacity, expect to be interrupted. The only people who are not interrupted are hermits and prison inmates. You and I should be thankful for interruptions.
But think of these situations where interruptions are the whole reason your “job” exists:
3 Reasons for Marriage
Being happy has very little to do with the reason God created marriage. Marriage can be very unhappy, and still…
Preparing for Marriage Success
Ask a thirty-something single person, and you may well hear moans and groans about the lack of any suitable marriage partners anywhere on the horizon. But then ask the person who has experienced domestic violence, a heart-breaking divorce, or a chronically unhappy marriage full of conflict. They will tell you you’re much better off alone.
Before Al and I got married I heard two wise pieces of advice that can make a difference for anyone who is getting married:
When It’s Time to Say Goodbye
Losing a loved one in death is one of life’s most difficult experiences. It’s something each one of us either already has or someday will go through. Knowing it will happen does not make it any less painful.
The journey of grief is just that – a journey.
You Know Your True Priorities When …
With all the talk about priorities, how do you know what yours truly are? It’s good to decide what you want your priorities to be. But the only way you know your true priorities is when they are tested.
My priorities have been tested this week. My husband became ill while I was out of town, and was hospitalized.
7 Conversation Starters with your Spouse
Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Yes, that’s the secret of a great relationship. Although good communication between husband and wife is so important, it may not seem easy to do.
“But I have nothing to say. What do we talk about?”
That’s why you’re reading this! If things tend to be somewhat silent between you, here are some suggestions for conversation.
Marriage in a Pressure Cooker
Marriage is under assault. And most of the “enemies” your marriage faces are very close to home. It’s possible to be so concerned with assaults from “out there” that we overlook the very real things that can weaken our marriage from the inside.
“God Is Your Father” – Good News or Bad?
If you’ve gone to church or read the Bible you’ve surely heard that God is your Father. You’re supposed to feel safe and secure knowing that. The thought of God as your Father is supposed to make you want to run into His arms with joy, knowing He will handle all your problems.
But does it really make you feel that way?
5 Thoughts Before You Speak Harshly
Words can hurt! It takes real emotional and spiritual maturity to pause before speaking, and to consistently use our words for good and not for ill.
Thoughts affect words. The thoughts you think when your spouse frustrates you can dramatically affect what comes out of your mouth. Here are some questions to think about in that moment before speaking harshly.
The Space Between You and Your Spouse
When your relationship began you probably felt you couldn’t get close enough.
Then life happens. Things change. Something comes between you and your spouse. You start to wonder what ever drew you together in the first place. How did this happen?
Al (my husband) and I have made a commitment to keep the ground between us clean.
Being REAL or Being Helpful
Do I share my feelings completely? ALL the time? Will it hurt other people if I do? If I don’t, will keeping secrets hurt me – or them? If I know this, shouldn’t I share the information?
So how can you know if this is a “secret” you should keep or not? Maturity, wisdom, counsel, and prayer are all very necessary for some of these tough decisions.
5 Tips for Getting Past the Drama
Just coming through the holidays, you may have experienced some family drama – as a couple I saw in my office had just been through. These tips may help you keep your sanity in crazy-making situations.
