Should Christian Couples Use Contraception?
The publicity the Duggar family has enjoyed has promoted the idea that having an unlimited number of children is the…
decision
Who Should You Ask For Help
When you’re successful at doing it all on your own you’re left with feelings of accomplishment and pride. More often,…
How to Pray When Making a Big Decision
Taking a business risk. Getting married. Going back to school. Moving to another city. There are times in your life…
The Enormous Power of “I Don’t Care!”
Next to “No” the most powerful sentence in the English language is “I don’t care.” It makes you downright dangerous!…
The ONE Question That Will Help You Make ANY Decision
Whether you tend to become paralyzed over making significant decisions or often act before you have all the information you…
17 Things to say NO to this New Year
There’s no true difference between 11:59 pm tonight and 00:01 tomorrow morning. For some it will be a moment to…
Why Would People Listen to You?
It was 3:00 am, and I was already tired. “You’re needed in room 2 right away.” My on-call shift at…
Are You In The Right Church?
There’s a wonderful gospel song that proclaims, “God’s building a church!” Yes, He certainly is. And YOU are a vital…
When Love Goes to War
What have you done in the name of love? Stayed up all night nursing a sick child – over and…
What The Bible Says To Those Struggling With Infertility
There is probably no place in modern medicine where ethics, morality, and science collide with a more resounding crash than…
Getting Over A Bad Attitude
A bad attitude isn’t all in your head. Sometimes it’s very much in your body as well. A bad attitude…
What A Christian Does When Faced With Evil
A lot of bad things are happening in this world. And that’s nothing new. Right now we’re hearing a lot…
5 Steps To Getting Out Of A Funk
There’s not a human being alive who doesn’t have a bad day occasionally. And for some people it seems those…
12 Habits To Live Happy and Healthy in Just Minutes A Day
Your daily habits determine your future. Most of what we do each day we do automatically. Imagine how difficult life…
The Gospel Is Not For Wimps!
Sometimes we think the message of the Gospel offers good people a way to become better, get over their hangups…
What To Do When You Want To Hear From God
I need God to speak to me. But I’m not hearing anything from Him at all!”
Have you said anything like that? Those of us who care at all about our relationship with God would love to have a way to know exactly what God was saying. But too often it seems like a game of, “Can you hear me now?”
Can God Heal You From Mental Illness?
Of course God can heal you from mental illness!
But the real-life answer is often much more complicated, more painful, more excruciating.
When it comes to mental illness, like with most other problems we humans face, God’s answer is almost always, “All of the above.”
10 Things God Has Put You In Charge Of
Try to take charge of what is in God’s hands, and you will become frustrated and anxious. Neglect to take charge of things God has placed in YOUR hands, and you will become depressed.
I’ve gotten confused over the difference many times, and perhaps you have too. Understanding the difference can change everything about your happiness, peace, and success in this world, and more.
10 Excuses That Won’t Work With God
God is as eager to bless you, heal you, give you good things, or fulfill a big purpose in your life as a father or mother is to give good things to their children. (Matthew 7:11) Most of what He wants for you is bigger and more eternal than you could imagine for yourself.
But too often we humans are so short-sighted, selfish, or afraid that we don’t take advantage of what God offers. It’s like a child afraid to get onto a bicycle or jump into a swimming pool. The joy of swimming or riding a bike is waiting for you, but it takes being willing to risk, and trusting that your parent (God) will be there.
10 Mistakes To Avoid In Looking For A Husband
Looking for a husband? So was I.
And then I gave up. And it’s probably the best thing I ever did.
I’d like to look at it from the other side. Sadly, if you are looking for Mr Right there are a number of married women who would be glad to give him to you! Learning from mistakes others have made may save you a lot of heartache. (And in a moment, I’ll also share two things you SHOULD do.)
“Why Don’t I Feel Like Praying?”
Some part of your heart believes you “should” pray. Prayer is a good thing. But you are struggling to find it in you to actually pray.
Does that mean you’re just not “spiritual enough?”
Not necessarily. God made us as whole, integrated human beings. Something that happens in one part of our lives may impact every other area. And that includes your spiritual energy.
What You Should Learn From A Bad Day
Bad days will come. You have them, and so do I.
I’ve had a couple bad days recently. And I’ve come to realize that having a bad day can be very useful. Through the experience of having many bad days (who hasn’t?), I’ve come to understand that there are many things to be learned. And some of those things really cannot be learned on a good day.
2 Questions to Help You Decide If Your Marriage Is Too Destructive To Save
If you’re wrestling with a painful or destructive marriage, you know all too well the frustration, tears, and loneliness involved. You know the feelings of powerlessness, shame, sadness, disappointment, or guilt. You may have prayed, cried, and done all you know, and are only left with weariness and hopelessness.
There are two things I know for sure:
You’re Not Afraid? I Don’t Believe You
You might say, “Nothing scares me.”
But I don’t believe you.
You and I are human. We have feelings. God made us that way.
The question is not, “Are you afraid?” The question is, “What are you afraid of?”
And even more importantly, “What are you going to do about it?”
10 Things to Leave Behind in 2014
A new year provides a wonderful opportunity to leave behind things that aren’t working.
At least briefly review your physical lifestyle, money habits, thoughts and emotions, use of time, personal relationships, and spiritual practices. Ask a few important questions about each area, and it’s likely you will find things that you can do without in 2014.
5 Ways to Get Through the Holiday Season Happier and Healthier
Too much food. Too much stress. Too much spending. Too much drinking. Too much unhappy family time. No wonder many people start the new year heavier, unhappy, and in more debt.
There’s no holiday magic that gives you a free pass on what it takes to be healthy physically or mentally. The principles of healthy living apply during the next six weeks just as they do the rest of the year. It’s not too late to plan some better strategies.
How to Find the Freedom of Forgiveness
You’ve been wronged. Badly.
There comes a time after every such horrible wrong where you must make a decision. And it’s yours alone to make. You have only two choices. Do you remain hurt and miserable, or do the hard work of forgiveness.
Forgiveness sets you free. It does much more for the one doing the forgiving than the one needing to be forgiven.
Forgiveness is also one of the hardest things for most people to do. There’s a sweet misery in nursing your wounds. Having been hurt is a wonderful excuse for all kinds of bad behavior.
Why It Matters Who Is In Charge Of Your Life
“Who’s in charge around here?” That’s a very good question. For any endeavor to succeed, someone must take responsibility.
If your life is a project, or an expedition, or a book, who’s in charge? If you are playing a part in some great drama, who’s directing? It makes a difference.
There are three basic choices when it comes to who’s in charge:
The Exhilarating Freedom NOT To Care
Have you ever come to the point where you don’t care? It’s one of the most powerful places you can be. And it’s exhilarating!
This is about getting rid of the chains that your own fears create in business, personal relationships, and even your spiritual life.
It’s possible to care too much. Becoming too invested in the outcome puts you in a very vulnerable position, clouds your perspective, and removes all your negotiating power.
How To Influence Others for Christ Without Being Harmed
The people you hang out with have a big impact on your character. Values, attitudes, beliefs, habits – they are all very contagious! You may not even notice subtle changes in your own soul until you have changed more than you wish.
But didn’t Jesus call His followers salt and light? How can you influence others for His Kingdom if you’re not around them? You must get out of the saltshaker if your saltiness is to flavor anything.
How can you deal with this seeming conflict? How can you influence others positively without being corrupted yourself?
The Ripple Effect: How One Lifestyle Change Creates Another
Making lifestyle change takes a lot of effort. And it can get discouraging at times. Setbacks are common. Your original motivation becomes cloudy. Is all that effort really worth it?
But when you start to notice benefits in other areas, it may be easier to find the motivation to stick with the change you know is important. Here are a few ripples that are easy to understand:
5 Things You Don’t Want To Regret
It’s not the years in your life that count: it’s the life in your years that’s important.
You Know Your True Priorities When …
With all the talk about priorities, how do you know what yours truly are? It’s good to decide what you want your priorities to be. But the only way you know your true priorities is when they are tested.
My priorities have been tested this week. My husband became ill while I was out of town, and was hospitalized.
Who is Your Role Model?
Suppose you had to choose a role model among contemporary Christians. Who would it be?
Take “Christian” completely out of the equation for a moment. Who would you choose to be your role model?
Now what is it you admire about these potential role models? We have too often equated being weak with being godly. And nothing could be farther from the truth!
What Your Lifestyle Can – and Can’t – Accomplish
Going to extremes is only human, but it’s not healthy. Many people have a difficult time finding a healthy balance in lifestyle choices.
On one extreme are those who throw caution to the wind. On the other extreme are those who wouldn’t eat a piece of bacon or a candy bar if they were starving. And then there are those who jump between those two extremes – with no better results.
Nature or Nurture: Managing Your Genes
The more than 3 billion base pairs that make up the DNA in each of your body’s cells provide a blueprint for everything about you. But are you doomed to live out the results of whatever your parents passed on to you – good or bad?
The genetic package we are each left with simply means we have to work harder in some areas than others.
The Journey From Being Squeezed to Thriving
We don’t like being squeezed! Just the thought of it is uncomfortable.
When some people get squeezed they become bitter, angry, and isolated. And other people take those times of being squeezed and leverage them into an opportunity for growth. What makes the difference?
Here are some critical steps that can take you from being squeezed to thriving on the other side.
Fast Food or Gourmet Meals – for the Soul
The average American eats fast food several times a week. Most of us realize that fast food is much less healthy than most food prepared and eaten at home.
We love fast food in other areas of our lives as well. We settle for fast food all too often, and miss the deep pleasure, satisfaction, and nourishment we really crave.
What Do You Want?
It’s one of the first questions I ask a patient who comes to see me: “What do you want us to accomplish together?” So much frustration, misunderstanding, disappointment, and upset feelings can be avoided by getting this clear up front.
Clarifying what you want dramatically increases your chance of getting it. Even Jesus followed this when talking with people.
Would Jesus be Conservative or Progressive?
The majority of the people I’ve been around during my life have been conservatives. On the other hand are the progressives. Both are sure they have God on their side.
If Jesus were here on earth today, would He be a conservative? Or a progressive? What WOULD Jesus do? It’s not such a simple answer after all.
The Ethics of a Christian Doctor
As an OB-Gyn physician I come face-to-face with the ethical edges of medical care perhaps more often than most.
Here are some principles I take seriously, and use when faced with challenging ethical decisions.
What God Will NOT Do For You
There are a few things God will not do for you. We human beings sometimes presume on God’s grace and think that will excuse our bad behavior.
So don’t be angry with God when you experience some “natural consequences.” Do seek God for His grace in changing your character.
Nobody Wants to be Healthy
I have assumed everyone wants to be healthy. But that’s not true!
The most powerful lifestyle changes come from the inside out. For most of us a desire to “be healthy” is too nebulous, too temporary, too easy to compromise. It takes something deeper.
Being REAL or Being Helpful
Do I share my feelings completely? ALL the time? Will it hurt other people if I do? If I don’t, will keeping secrets hurt me – or them? If I know this, shouldn’t I share the information?
So how can you know if this is a “secret” you should keep or not? Maturity, wisdom, counsel, and prayer are all very necessary for some of these tough decisions.
It’s Never Only Medical
When can you ever put stress, time, and money aside? Medical care does not exist in a vacuum. There are times when a serious illness demands something be done right now – sometimes something intense and expensive. But there are many more situations where there are choices involved. And I believe those choices are available many more times than most people realize.
The Fragility of Trust
Trust takes a long time to build. And it can be lost in a moment.
Sitting in the airport not long ago, I couldn’t help overhearing one side of a phone conversation.
We were witnessing a young man in real torment.
5 Steps to Staying Present
There’s more than one way to leave. And we do it all the time.
Whether it’s a job, parenting, church, or marriage, being present is a first step to anything good. You’ve got to show up! And that means showing up with more than your physical body.
Here are five steps to challenge that leaving, and stay present.
The Benefits of Anxiety
Anybody out there want to be anxious? Probably not.
Anxiety is a very unpleasant feeling. Your heart may race. Your stomach may be in knots. You may have trouble sleeping and trouble concentrating.
But there IS something very positive about anxiety. And that comes in the process of change.
Doctor, Doctor: Bitterness and Unforgiveness
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
That’s exactly what bitterness and unforgiveness does. It’s terribly toxic physically, not to mention emotionally and spiritually.
The Benefits of Healthy Investments
Investments come in all varieties. Financial, yes, but so much more. Little things you do today make a much bigger difference in your tomorrows.
We marvel at the accomplishments of well-known authors, thinkers, politicians, preachers, sports figures, artists, or entrepreneurs. But we usually only see the end result, not the investment of blood, sweat, and tears day after day, year after year.
Here are a few ways my “investments” have paid off:
